Gender disappointment

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Not to be confused with Gender dysphoria.
A round white cake with a large black question mark and smaller gender symbols on it.
A cake for a gender reveal party. Gender disappointment might reveal itself at one of these parties.

Gender disappointment is the feeling of sadness parents experience when the desire for a child of a preferred sex is not met. It can create feelings of shame which cannot always be expressed openly.[1] It is often noticed in cultures where women are viewed as of a lower status and the preferred choice is for a male infant, i.e. son preference.[2] It may result in sex-selective killing,[1] or the neglection of female children.[3]

Gender disappointment can occur before or after giving birth. It has been questioned whether it can be considered a unique mental illness or whether it should be linked to other mental disorders, like depression (e.g. postpartum depression) or adjustment disorders. Its treatment can be complex since a particular pathway to recovery has not yet been defined.[1] Nonetheless, there are some treatments available that have been shown to be successful.

Theories

A number of theories exist via which gender disappointment is generally explained: the gender discrimination theory, the gender essentialism theory and the parental investment theory.

Gender discrimination theory

This theory suggests that a patriarchal kinship system, prevalent in Asian countries, generates a strong preference for a certain gender, in casu a son. Such system considers sons as "harbingers of prosperity and daughters as liabilities who require significant outlay of resources through their lifetime".[4] In such a society, the underlying pressures to have a male child are vast.[3] They range from social[citation needed] and cultural pressures (e.g. only sons will propagate the family name,[5] certain religious rites can only be performed by men[6]) to economic considerations (e.g. sons have the obligation to take care of the economic situation of their parents in their older days[7]) and safety concerns.[citation needed] Needless to say these factors favour the birth of boys and generate gender disappointment in case the newborn is a girl.

Gender essentialism theory

Gender essentialism is the theory according to which intrinsic qualities are attributed to men and women treating them as of a fixed essence. Often, they are defined in terms of individual biological capacities[8] but they can also be grounded in social stereotypes.

When the parental desire for a child of a specific gender is grounded in such stereotypes (whether descriptive or prescriptive[9]), gender-related biases can cause and reinforce gender disappointment.

While gender essentialism may play a role in certain cultures, it contradicts with recent views that gender is a complex construct influenced by biological factors and environmental circumstances.[10] Even though there are biological differences between men and women,[11][12] no scientific evidence exists that all infants fit into the traditional binary genders. Parents should therefore be aware of the difference between sex and gender as the two may not align in the course of one's life.

The parental investment theory

In evolutionary theory, parental investment is any expenditure that benefits offspring and can potentially increase its chances of survival.[13] This includes money spendings on essential and non-essential goods, time spendings on activities, and attention and energy spendings.[14] It causes parents to engage in a cost-benefit analysis and to compare spendings between their children. Research shows that for example in countries like India, parents are more likely to allocate resources, such as time and money, to their sons rather than to their daughters resulting in better access to vaccination[15] and healthcare.[16][17]

Personal factors

Gender disappointment cannot only be explained by reference to the general theories mentioned above. Several personal factors can contribute to being more or less prone to feelings of disappointment in relation to gender:

  1. The parent's age: Parents between the age of 19 and 25 are more inclined to experience gender disappointment. As people get older, their desire for having a child exceeds the desire for having a child of a specific gender due to the increased chance of infertility.[3]
  2. The parent's gender:[3] Females experience gender disappointment more given the volatility of their hormonal levels which can also result in other mental disorders such as postpartum depression.[1][18]
  3. The parent's personality: A clear link has been established between gender disappointment and the characteristics of a parent's personality. Tied back to the psychological theory of The Big Five Personality traits, research suggests that Neuroticism, Extraversion, and Conscientiousness are moderators for gender disappointment. For example, extroverted people are sociable and will expect a gender that will bring them more public attention. They will be disappointed if this is not the case. Conscientious individuals, for instance, like to plan and think ahead: this may result in disappointment when the unexpected gender is born.[3]

Solutions and treatment

Dealing with gender disappointment can take place on a personal level and via professional help. Ultimately, long-term solutions should be sought on a social level.

Personal level

Opening up, in group or one-to-one, and sharing the negative emotions resulting from gender disappointment, can help reduce the feelings of shame.[1][3][19]

Professional help

Professional treatment in the context of gender disappointment generally exists in counseling which helps parents to understand that the sex of their offspring does not determine their parenting experience. It faces some unique challenges due to the level of subjectivity that comes with any mental disorder on the one hand and the existing social stigma on the other hand. As a result, treatments for gender disappointment are not always easily accessible.[1]

Social level

Most studies indicate that the long-term solutions are not to be found on an individual level but on a social level. They highlight that sexism should be recognised within societies as a social disorder and that sexist social structures should be dismantled.[1]

See also

References

  1. ^ a b c d e f g Hendl, Tereza; Browne, Tamara Kayali (June 2020). "Is 'gender disappointment' a unique mental illness?". Medicine, Health Care and Philosophy. 23 (2): 281–294. doi:10.1007/s11019-019-09933-3. ISSN 1572-8633. PMID 31865528. S2CID 209447227.
  2. ^ Supraja, T.A.; Varghese, Meiya; Desai, Geetha; Chandra, Prabha S (2016). "The relationship of gender preference to anxiety, stress and family violence among pregnant women in urban India". International Journal of Culture and Mental Health. 9 (4): 356–363. doi:10.1080/17542863.2016.1205114. ISSN 1754-2863. S2CID 147998678.
  3. ^ a b c d e f Theerthaana, P.; Sheik Manzoor, A. K. (October 2019). "Gender disappointment in India: SEM modeling approach". Archives of Women's Mental Health. 22 (5): 593–603. doi:10.1007/s00737-018-0929-8. ISSN 1435-1102. PMID 30488115. S2CID 53807691.
  4. ^ Rathore, Udayan; Das, Upasak (2 January 2022). "Health Consequences of Patriarchal Kinship System for the Elderly: Evidence from India". The Journal of Development Studies. 58 (1): 145–163. doi:10.1080/00220388.2021.1939863. ISSN 0022-0388. S2CID 237689056.
  5. ^ Kansal, R.; Maroof, Khan Amir; Bansal, R.; Parashar, P. (1 October 2010). "A hospital-based study on knowledge, attitude and practice of pregnant women on gender preference, prenatal sex determination and female feticide". Indian Journal of Public Health. 54 (4): 209–212. doi:10.4103/0019-557X.77263. ISSN 0019-557X. PMID 21372370.
  6. ^ Pande, Rohini P.; Astone, Nan Marie (2007). "Explaining Son Preference in Rural India: The Independent Role of Structural versus Individual Factors". Population Research and Policy Review. 26 (1): 1–29. doi:10.1007/s11113-006-9017-2. JSTOR 40230884. S2CID 143798268.
  7. ^ Vadera, Bn; Joshi, Uk; Unadakat, Sv; Yadav, Bs; Yadav, Sudha (October 2007). "Study on knowledge, attitude and practices regarding gender preference and female feticide among pregnant women". Indian Journal of Community Medicine. 32 (4): 300–301. doi:10.4103/0970-0218.37703. ISSN 0970-0218 – via ResearchGate.
  8. ^ Ching, Boby Ho-Hong; Xu, Jason Teng; Chen, Tiffany Ting; Kong, Kenneth Hong Cheng (October 2020). "Gender Essentialism, Authoritarianism, Social Dominance Orientation, and Filial Piety as Predictors for Transprejudice in Chinese People". Sex Roles. 83 (7): 426–441. doi:10.1007/s11199-020-01123-3. S2CID 255004194.
  9. ^ Meyer, Meredith; Gelman, Susan A. (November 2016). "Gender Essentialism in Children and Parents: Implications for the Development of Gender Stereotyping and Gender-Typed Preferences". Sex Roles. 75 (9): 409–421. doi:10.1007/s11199-016-0646-6. S2CID 255016032.
  10. ^ Burri, Andrea; Cherkas, Lynn; Spector, Timothy; Rahman, Qazi (7 July 2011). "Genetic and Environmental Influences on Female Sexual Orientation, Childhood Gender Typicality and Adult Gender Identity". PLOS ONE. 6 (7): e21982. Bibcode:2011PLoSO...621982B. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0021982. ISSN 1932-6203. PMC 3131304. PMID 21760939.
  11. ^ Ristori, Jiska; Cocchetti, Carlotta; Romani, Alessia; Mazzoli, Francesca; Vignozzi, Linda; Maggi, Mario; Fisher, Alessandra Daphne (January 2020). "Brain Sex Differences Related to Gender Identity Development: Genes or Hormones?". International Journal of Molecular Sciences. 21 (6): 2123. doi:10.3390/ijms21062123. PMC 7139786. PMID 32204531.
  12. ^ Colineaux, Hélène; Neufcourt, Lola; Delpierre, Cyrille; Kelly-Irving, Michelle; Lepage, Benoit (23 March 2023). "Explaining biological differences between men and women by gendered mechanisms". Emerging Themes in Epidemiology. 20 (1): 2. doi:10.1186/s12982-023-00121-6. ISSN 1742-7622. PMC 10037796. PMID 36959612.
  13. ^ Pazhoohi, Farid (31 August 2022). "Parental Investment Theory". In Shackelford, Todd K. (ed.). The Cambridge Handbook of Evolutionary Perspectives on Sexual Psychology (1st ed.). Cambridge University Press. pp. 137–159. doi:10.1017/9781108943529.010. ISBN 978-1-108-94352-9.
  14. ^ Gauthier, Anne H.; de Jong, Petra W. (17 December 2021). "Costly children: the motivations for parental investment in children in a low fertility context". Genus. 77 (1): 6. doi:10.1186/s41118-020-00111-5. ISSN 2035-5556. PMC 7889673. PMID 33678812.
  15. ^ Borooah, Vani K. (1 May 2004). "Gender bias among children in India in their diet and immunisation against disease" (PDF). Social Science & Medicine. 58 (9): 1719–1731. doi:10.1016/s0277-9536(03)00342-3. PMID 14990373.
  16. ^ Ganatra, B; Hirve, S (1994). "Male bias in health care utilization for under-fives in a rural community in western India". Bulletin of the World Health Organization. 72 (1): 101–4. PMC 2486511. PMID 8131244.
  17. ^ Yount, Kathryn M. (2001). "Excess mortality of girls in the Middle East in the 1970s and 1980s: Patterns, correlates and gaps in research". Population Studies. 55 (3): 291–308. doi:10.1080/00324720127703. PMID 11778621. S2CID 32242407.
  18. ^ Nguyen, Amanda J.; Hoyer, Elisabeth; Rajhans, Purva; Strathearn, Lane; Kim, Sohye (September 2019). "A tumultuous transition to motherhood: Altered brain and hormonal responses in mothers with postpartum depression". Journal of Neuroendocrinology. 31 (9): e12794. doi:10.1111/jne.12794. PMID 31520440. S2CID 202572266.
  19. ^ Worrall, Hugh; Schweizer, Richard; Marks, Ellen; Yuan, Lin; Lloyd, Chris; Ramjan, Rob (9 April 2018). "The effectiveness of support groups: a literature review". Faculty of Science, Medicine and Health - Papers: Part A. 22 (2): 85–93. doi:10.1108/MHSI-12-2017-0055.
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