User talk:Yvrslp2b
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Hello, Yvrslp2b, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:11, 12 September 2016 (UTC)
Feedback on Laryngitis Article!
Overall, your article looks great! Very concise and readable... I have a few suggestions/questions for a couple things...
1. In the physical characteristics section, I wasn't sure if you should define acute and chronic, just in case this terminology is not familiar to everyone. I understand that this may have already been addressed earlier on in your article in a section that you are not responsible for, so if it is, disregard this suggestion! 2. Aperiodicity may beyond the scope of the audience but if you can find a simple way to explain asymmetry than I think that it could be useful as long as it is not to complicated. Up to you! 3. For the last paragraph you inquired about... I don't know if all of that information is necessary as it is extremely technical and probably more detailed than someone who is using wikipedia is looking for. I think you could simplify the first section perhaps with something like this: In early stages, erythema (reddening) and edema (swelling) of the physiological structures involved with speech above the vocal folds occur. In the late stages, the vocal folds and physiological structures beneath it are also involved. There are sticky secretions between the folds and in nearby structures (here maybe you could put in brackets interarytenoid region). It's not perfect but it is just a suggestion of how to potentially simplify it.
Great job! Nancy Zee (talk) 23:01, 27 October 2016 (UTC)
REPLY:
Hi Nancy Zee!
Thanks for your feedback! Yes - I think chronic and acute will be defined before my section. If not, good suggestion to add in a definition. -Good point about asymmetry. I'll work that in . -Thank you for the suggestion on reworking that complex section!!
Yvrslp2b (talk) 04:42, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
Feedback on Laryngitis article
Hi! Your part is pretty good. I just have a couple suggestions:
- Some terms might still need to be specified. For example, throat clearing is a symptom of laryngitis? Is it like, more frequent throat clearing? Or just throat clearing in general. The distinction between acute and chronic in physical characteristics might also need more info (or linking to the wiki pages for those 2 words) You did a good job making it less technical tho. The previous article was way too overwhelming.
- About the “Early Referral Signs” section, I wonder if it might need its own bigger header. Also in signs and symptoms you say “Dysphagia (difficulty in swallowing)” but in Early Referral Signs you say "swallowing problems (dysphagia)”; those should probably say the same thing. Also, the checklist in this section is not capitalized, unlike the previous ones.
- Your Takahashi citation isn’t completed, but the other ones seem fine.
That's it! You did a good job Oozav (talk) 20:21, 29 October 2016 (UTC)
Hi Oozay!
Thanks for the feedback. Nice catch re the throat clearing. I'll add clarification. - Good idea re: the header too and clarifying dysphagia.
-OOPS! re: Takahashi. I'll check that out!
thanks again for your comments!!
Yvrslp2b (talk) 04:44, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
A barnstar for you!
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The Original Barnstar |
| Constructive and detailed review; nice draft of the article. SCSD639 (talk) 18:22, 31 October 2016 (UTC) |
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Doc James (talk · contribs · email) 17:51, 20 November 2016 (UTC)
Hi Doc James -- thank you so much for your feedback re diagnosis and the Medicine guidelines! Already making those edits. Yvrslp2b (talk) 18:23, 20 November 2016 (UTC)