This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to join the project and contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Japan, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Japan-related articles on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the project, participate in relevant discussions, and see lists of open tasks. Current time in Japan: 09:21, April 30, 2024 (JST, Reiwa 6) (Refresh)JapanWikipedia:WikiProject JapanTemplate:WikiProject JapanJapan-related articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Women's History, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of Women's history and related articles on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the discussion and see a list of open tasks.Women's HistoryWikipedia:WikiProject Women's HistoryTemplate:WikiProject Women's HistoryWomen's History articles
I think I am notorious for nitpicking ;) Sainsf(talk·contribs) 07:22, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Beautiful work. Here are my comments:
Lead
daughter of Kusumoto Taki, who was a courtesan from Nagasaki; and the German physician Philipp Franz von Siebold, You may simply say "Nagasaki courtesan Kusumoto Taki".
I feel like that might imply more than might be strictly true. Curly Turkey🍁¡gobble! 08:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
No change needed if there is some uncertainty. Sainsf(talk·contribs) 09:06, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
where foreigners were restricted during Japan's long period of seclusion from the world It may be unclear if the "where" refers to Kusumoto's birthplace or Dejima.
Is this better?—who worked on Dejima, an island foreigners were restricted toCurly Turkey🍁¡gobble! 08:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
For which names do you provide Japanese translations and for which do you not?
I try to limit it to the most key names to reduce clutter. I'd meant to move them to endnotes to improve readablility, which I've now done. Curly Turkey🍁¡gobble! 08:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not sure it's due weight for the lead—most of the sources don't even mention the cause. Curly Turkey🍁¡gobble! 08:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
The cause of death is generally notable. If it clearly isn't noted here, then no need to include. Sainsf(talk·contribs) 09:06, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Life and career
This is a very long section, please divide it into subsections.
Wikilink "artificial island", "apochryphal", "obstetrics" and "Date Munenari".
Done, except for "apocryphal" (which inapporpriately links to Apocrypha), and Munenari, which is already linked in the lead, at first appearance in the body, and in a caption. Curly Turkey🍁¡gobble! 08:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Many names have been linked (I am not sure if they should be) and are redlinks, but her mother's name isn't.
I've looked at the sources, and it's unlikely her mother will ever warrant an article. The others have articles on the Japanese-language Wikipedia, and likely warrant articles in English. Curly Turkey🍁¡gobble! 08:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
they waved him goodbye from a small boat in the harbour as his ship pulled away Something like "as his ship left" would be less dramatic. The wording is good but may look unencyclopedic and story-like to some.
Is 100 yen still a considerable sum? If not, it should be clarified that it was so in those days.
Today it's about a US dollar; at the time Yen were much more vaulable, and divided into sen "pennies". I think I'd rather leave it at "considerable" rather than deal with inflation-adjusted numbers, which need to be handled with care. Curly Turkey🍁¡gobble! 08:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]
the financial support of her father; she never married "She never married" seems out of place here. This is a significant fact of her life, and deserves a prominent mention.
I've bumped it to the next paragraph, which is kind of a summing up of random tidbits like this. Curly Turkey🍁¡gobble! 08:34, 15 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]