Talk:Be My Lover (Inna song)/GA1
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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA Review
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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 14:17, 19 July 2017 (UTC)
- Grabbing this for a review. I hope that it is okay with you that I am reviewing a lot of your articles lol. Aoba47 (talk) 14:17, 19 July 2017 (UTC)
- Lead and infobox
- I would change "a contestant on the third season" to "a contestant from the third season".
- I am a little confused by the phrasing "has been released in another version". Are you referring to a remix? It may be better to say that (A remix of "Be My Lover" featuring Juan Magan was released on X) and included the release date to make this information clearer for the reader.
- Everything looks good in the infobox, but I would note that the single was released from the deluxe edition from the album (i.e. in a similar way to "Super Bass").
- Background and release
- I would replace "the singers' second collaboration" with "their second collaboration".
- I do not believe that you need "especially" as I think "intended" by itself gets the point across.
- I would move the bit about the song being added to Radio Eska to before the information on the remix/special version to present the information in chronological order.
- I would a sentence about the release of a Digital remixed EP. In the sentence, make sure to link EP and spell it out (extended play) with EP in parenthesis after it.
- Composition and reception
- For the first paragraph, you can make the information on the writing credits into its own sentence to avoid having a run-on sentence.
- I would add a topic sentence to the second paragraph that notes that the song has received positive attention from critics (i.e. in a similar way to what you have done in the lead).
- I am not entirely sure what is meant by the quote "the choice of the single is not casual". Could you provide more context for this?
- I would wikilink Wallonia in the lead and in the second paragraph to provide some context for an uninformed reader (maybe, I am just a stupid American over here, but I have never heard of it before now lol).
- Music video
- I do not think you need "online" in front of "video".
- Change "lotard" to "leotard"
- I would change "with the flag of the United States on it" to "with an American flag design" to make it more concise. Keep the link to the flag.
- Remove "further" in "further containing".
- Change "shots with three women" to "shots of three women".
- Change "synchroned" to "synchronized".
- You use the construction "X is shown" twice in the second paragraph so I would suggest adding something different for variation. Maybe "X is seen" or something along those lines.
- Just a clarification question, has she performed this live anywhere?
- Track listing
- Wonderful work here.
- Credits and personnel
- Everything looks great here.
- Chart
- Great work here.
- Release history
- Everything looks good here.
- References
- Just for the future, I would recommend archiving all of your sources to prevent all of your work being lost due to link rot/decay. This is not necessary for the GAN so don't feel pressure to do it now as it can be time-consuming. This is just a note.
- External links
- I do not believe that the link to Inna's official website is necessary as it is not directly relevant to the song so I would suggest removing it.
- Final comments
- Great work with this article as always. It is always inspiring to see the amount of work you put into these articles. I will pass this once my comments are addressed. I hope you are having a wonderful day so far. Aoba47 (talk) 14:38, 19 July 2017 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Thank you very much for your review(s)! Your wonderful articles, such as "Shine", also inspire me and others (btw you're doing so much for me, can I do something for you?). I have done all besides:
- The "online" in video needs to stay because this is the name of the visual (difference from a "music video")
- Inna hasn't performed "Be My Lover" on any notable occasions
Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:09, 20 July 2017 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.