User talk:Yhlee83/Jegichagi
This looks like a brilliant article! I can only find a few ways to improve it, really.
1. You should put in references within the text. Since it's so dense with information, there are many claims which are not just "general knowledge." For example:
Also, what side of the foot you use to kick jegi gives various health benefits to your body. When you use the inner part of your foot, it benefits your kidney, liver, and spleen. Further, when you use the outer part of foot, it benefits your bladder and stomach.
I hope you have a good reference for this claim. In English.
2. Speaking of which, all references are in Korean. But this is the English wiki. Please add appropriate references.
3. The article as a whole feels like a WikiHow article. To avoid this, I suggest a bit more history. Perhaps move the historical content from the introduction to its own section.
4. Minor: Remove the word "steps" from the first table and reduce the indent of the list items. Also, I would change "Prevents obesity" to "Helps prevent obesity," but I suppose that depends on personal preference.
Once again, great article so far. Just touch it up and you'll be set. Igomes (talk) 19:47, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
Woah! Tons of information on this page, and it's all organized in a way that makes sense. Good job. I only have a few things to suggest. First, if it's possible at all, try to find some english references to help back translations. Second, add some internal references, such as to Korea, or anything else in the page (which might be tough). Possible links might go to the Korean wikipages, so try those. Overall, the page looks good, looks professional, and pretty interesting too. I might have to start playing jegichagi myself.. And it seems like something similar to hackysack, so maybe a similarity reference? Nice use of the table for the making of a jegi. Maybe try to get a close-up shot of a jegi to put in that section.
Jroldham (talk) 15:30, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
I think that for the most part your article is soundly organized and you are well on your way to publishing it. Here are a few suggestions:
The article would benefit from a bit more historical background information. You relate some of the history of jegi chagi in the opening summary but I think there needs to be a more expansive historical section, set apart from the rest of the article. Also, you talk a little about the Korean Jegichagi association in the Jegichagi in Today section but I feel that this association might warrant its own section where you can discuss its history and impact.
Those are the two big informational gaps I see in the article. As far as style and organization goes, the style in the How to Make Jegi section doesn't flow like the rest of the articles. I'm not sure it matches up with standard Wiki guidelines. Also, I feel that the Different Ways to Play Jegichagi section might be better as a subsection of Rules and Kinds of Jegichagi.
Finally, a note about the tone of the article. it comes off as more instructional than informational, like in the How to select Jegi and practice section, which, as the title suggests, is more of a How To entry and less of an encyclopedic one. This same information could be incorporated into Gameplay and Equipment sections (see Footbag )which might be more informative and less instructive. Similarly, the How to make Jegichagi section is more instructional than informative. you could keep the steps in there as an example but the purpose of the article should be to present information not teach methods.Styonsk (talk) 19:31, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
I think that the page is great. Naturally, I had never really heard of this game before but Jegichagi seems very interesting. I agree with the comment above. I think that it would be great to have a close up shot of jegi as it would be a helpful guide for someone who was trying to make one. The explanation is very detailed but it would be nice to have a finished to product to look at. The description is simplified yet it's very detailed as well. I also think that the "Effects" section is a nice touch. However, I'd like to know more about the game's background. So I think expanding the history section at the top would definitely benefit the page.
Woodtc (talk) 19:38, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
Very interesting information, this is all very new to me. I have never even heard about the topic so thanks for enlightening me.
The page does a good job of displaying basic rules of the game and some general history about its origins. The site is relatively easy to follow and not very difficult to read. There is plenty of content about the subject for the layperson such as myself to get a good idea for what it is and how to play it.
I got a lot out of the instructions section, and it was particularly easy to understand as well. If you can find any other methods of making Jegi I think it would make this section even more interesting as well.
When explaining the different ways of playing, links to other articles or greater detail would help the reader better understand the different parts of the foot to use and so forth.
Some parts and formatting of the article are not in English. It’s important to remember that this article is going to be hosted on en.wikipedia.org, so all the content must be written in the English language.
The last point I’d like to make is that there are only three references to the entire article; while this is sufficient, I imagine that by finding more articles about the topic you will be able to amass a fairly comprehensive amount of data and details pertaining to the topic.
Hperic (talk) 19:56, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
The page overall is very good. Everything is laid out well. The rules are clearly explained and how to make a jegi is shown. This information is especially important because most English users are going to be like me and have no clue what Jegichagi is.
However, there are a few changes that I would make. The article seems to have very little historical information about the game. I feel that it is more along the lines of an instructional video than a encyclopedia article. A little more information about its origin as well as other background information would a great deal strength of the article. Word choice and syntax at various times throughout the article, especially in the introduction paragraph, needs a little work. Also, some of the titles could be worded better. Such as changing Basic Rule to Basic Rules or Kinds of Jegichagi to Variations or Types of Jegichagi.
Overall I think the article is good. With a small corrections to some grammatical issues and adding some more historical background the page could be much improved.
Williasa (talk) 21:24, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
The subject of ‘Jegichagi’ was a great choice. I was unaware of such a game, thus this page allowed for a great learning experience. A basic structure along with a use of simple and straightforward sentences creates for readability. Continue with these basics and all types of audiences can appreciate the unique game.
Here are a few suggestions I had while reading this page:
The beginning introduction was by far the most difficult for me to understand. The use of words and structure of sentences within this paragraph allows the concept of Jegichagi to be misinterpreted. The message is not completely clear to the reader who is new to the game of Jegichagi. I was confused as to what exactly the game was and the details included in this paragraph. I think the facts in this opening are important and interesting. However, clean up the readability and then these facts can be appreciated, as they should.
I like that instructions on how to make a Jegi adds a lot of flavor to this site. It allows for the audience to be interactive. You could possibly add more to this section – pictures, details, etc.
The basic rule of the game that is stated is clear and straightforward. This is the kind of sentence and information I was searching for in the first paragraph.
The different kinds of Jegichagi are explained simply with intricate details that allow the reader to appreciate the cultural richness of the game. I think it would be a nice addition to include facts like which kind is the most popular, etc. Also, the last sentence in this section is alone by itself and could use some company. I think the inclusion of what winning might mean to someone or the comparison between the kinds of Jegichagi could be helpful here.
The different ways to play are very readable with the use of simple sentences. The addition of Korean characters adds the uniqueness of this topic.
The section on how to select Jegi and practice is great with straightforward entries. This additional section adds to the interactive aspect of this page.
Don’t forget to add Wikipedia citations and use the Wikipedia format!
Overall, this is a great page. The topic allows for an insight into an interesting piece of Korean culture.
Skhussey (talk) 22:12, 4 March 2010 (UTC)
I'd agree with most of the comments from your peers above. The one thing I'd re-emphasize is the list of criteria for 'featured articles' in Wikipedia; these are the criteria I'll be using to evaluate the final version of your entry. Is the entry well-written, compelling, and easy to read? Are there aspects of the topics that haven't been explored in the entry or linked to other entries in Wikipedia? Are you drawing from a variety of types of sources (e.g., personal/organizational/educational webpages, newspapers, journals/magazines, books, etc.) throughout your entry? Have you formatted your entry to look similar to existing Wikipedia entries on similar topics? If you're incorporating images, do you have the appropriate permissions to post those files? These are the kinds of questions I'll be asking of your final version of this entry. Pmedward (talk) 21:21, 11 March 2010 (UTC)