User talk:Yamcosh/Renewable energy in the Philippines

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Editing Plan

I plan to expand upon the second small paragraph and discuss how hydropower plants affect local communities and the environment.Yamcosh (talk) 17:52, 21 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Full Draft Feedback

Congratulations for your contribution to our Wikipedia project. Before moving your article live, please leave a message to your peer reviewer on the Talk Page of the User:Yamcosh/Renewable energy in the Philippines/Tntle Peer Review and check the following suggestions:

  • To link this section to the lead of the Wikipedia article, you can add a topic sentence, which states that hydropower has been considered one of the main sources for renewable energy by the Philippines. If you want to make a citation, you can use information in the first paragraph of section #1.2 in this source: Gulagi, Ashish, Myron Alcanzare, Dmitrii Bogdanov, Eugene Esparcia Jr, Joey Ocon, and Christian Breyer. "Transition pathway towards 100% renewable energy across the sectors of power, heat, transport, and desalination for the Philippines." Renewable and Sustainable Energy Reviews 144 (2021): 110934. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rser.2021.110934
  • In terms of structure, place all "positive" impacts in one paragraph and the "negatives" in another. Two sentences from the second paragraph can be moved up to the first paragraph. And I think it is fine to place it at the end of the current version of the first paragraph.
"Many areas of the Philippines are suitable for hydroelectricity production."
"Isolated mountain communities have seen improvements..."
  • It is quite interesting that you provide 3 sources for the fact in the second sentence of the first paragraph. If all sources you find address the same statistics, that's great. I would not cite source #7 (about Mindanao) for this statement though.
  • "The methods of using ..." => if you only have one source for this statement, it'd better to write it in a less absolute way. For instance, "The methods of using ... often/tend to..." (Note: Yes, it might sound "biased" but to keep information more accurate, we do need to actually "impose" some of our assessment.)
  • "However, incorporating small scale plants,..." ==> I would take out the word "However" in this sentence.
  • The last paragraph looks great.

Overall, I'm happy with this editing work. Please reply Yes to acknowledge that you read my message. Thanks! Hieup (talk) 21:27, 6 April 2022 (UTC)hieup[reply]

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