User talk:Pndeleo/sandbox

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Adding Sources

Your sources look excellent, but be sure to remove the all caps from the citations. Are the excerpts direct quotations from the sources? If that's the case, you can just place them in the article word-for-word. You must summarize or paraphrase. Otherwise you're committing plagiarism. Please make the appropriate changes in the article. Josef Horáček (talk) 21:38, 12 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I understand your confusion now. I meant to say, "you can't place them in the article word-for-word." Sorry about that. Josef Horáček (talk) 15:00, 27 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]
I see that you revised your contribution. It's an important contribution to the article, but you paraphrases are too close to the source text. As you know, paraphrasing isn't just about replacing some of the words with synonyms. You must also be sure to understand the text you're paraphrasing? Who is "the Aussie Digger"? Will the WP readers know what you're talking about? Josef Horáček (talk) 15:14, 27 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

The Lead

Your lead is a big improvement to the article but needs some changes. Here are a some suggestions: 1. Revise the first sentence. It should go further in conveying the fact that the media contributed to the dramatic shift in public opinion about the war. 2. In the second sentence, delete "was" from "breaking news was covered." 3. Start the second paragraph with "As the war went on..." 4. In the second sentence of the second paragraph, you're mixing up sources of reporting and forms of reporting. You should fix that. 5. In the sentence starting with "Journalists that visited Vietnam..." who does "their" refer to? 6. "Vietnam was the bad guy" is too informal. 7. The last paragraph is really confusing. I think what you mean to say is that the media reporting led many people to believe that the U.S. government was not telling them the full truth about the war, which in turn led to increased public pressure to end the war.

Since you already posted the lead, make the suggested changes directly in the article. You have two days to do so. Josef Horáček (talk) 12:20, 22 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I made the changes you suggested in the article. I agreed with your changes once I went back and read my previous work. Thanks professor ( @Josefhoracek ) for the feedback! Pndeleo (talk) 18:09, 22 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Nice job. The revision really helped. Josef Horáček (talk) 15:18, 27 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]
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