User talk:Karmastaji/sandbox
Hello Karmastaji,
I was just reviewing your article and had a few suggestions for strengthening your already very good work. From what I understand you are elaborating on the history, critical period, components, influences and purpose of make believe. The history section is intended to give a background on when make-believe originated as a developmental psych concept and how it has shifted based on theorists' focuses throughout the years. The critical period describes the course of make believe from it's early development to its matured and complex stages (this usually follows the course of aging through childhood). The components section will categorize kinds of play while the influences section will note environmental factors that may alter the type of make believe. The article will conclude by explaining the purpose of make believe and why it is a quintessential aspect of child development.
MAJOR POINTS: - I noticed that the "Components", "Influences", and "Purpose" sections still need to be expanded. After further defining these three categories, it may be beneficial to readers if there are also tangible examples of role play, nonliteral actions, and toys/props to enhance understanding of their definitions. - If there is research on the subject, it would be interesting to incorporate elaborated information on the purpose of make-believe and whether it is beneficial. Questions I still have are, how does make-believe effect socialization, development, creativity, educational success, etc. - I would also be interested in research regarding the influence of adult intervention on gender-roles in make believe play. (Over all, more sources would be good).
MINOR POINTS: - The critical period section is a little difficult to retain since it is much like a listing of ages and behaviors. It could be helpful if a table organizing the ages and what types of play would be expected was included in this section as a visual aid. - If there are people or terms who have their own articles on wiki (such as Piaget or Role-Play) links should be provided through the use of those words so readers are able to connect the two articles and expand on their reading if wanted. - Depending on what sources you have found you could add a "Further readings" section or "Other links" to direct readers to more information on the subject.
Wishing you the best in your editing process! Don't hesitate to message me if you have any questions or comments.
AcevedoBarga (talk) 23:38, 28 March 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review #1 - Zack
Major points -
- The article needs lots of expansion, not only within the current sections, but it will also need new ones. You've done a great job so far of setting up new headings to be filled
- The history section is good in general, but it starts a little awkwardly, with few specifics
- You could add a little bit more information on Piaget's theories and a link to the Wikipedia page about them
- There also could be a bit more background on what critical periods are, just to add clarification
Minor points -
- The new opening line makes a strong improvement on the one that was previously there
Overall, I look forward to seeing what else you come up with! The topic is really fascinating and once you're finished I'm sure it will be comprehensive and well put together!
ZackNU (talk) 03:50, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review #2 - Zack
Major Points -
- When I have learned about critical periods, they have been described to me as times in a developing child's life when they must receive certain stimuli to achieve a goal or obtain a skill. If they don't, they risk never being able to do so in the future. The "critical periods" section in your article seems to show significant periods of development and skills gained, but they don't seem to be exactly the same as what I have learned to be a typical "critical period." I definitely could have a misunderstanding of what this all means, but I think it may be best if you either expanded this section to fit that definition or renamed it to something that may be more appropriate.
- The section on role play begins to touch upon topics that relate to Theory of Mind, which I see that you've added a section for. I think that it is a great idea to tie those in, so you may not want to separate them that way. I think this is important and should definitely be expanded on.
- There is so much great information throughout, but I was particularly intrigued by the gender-roles and family structure subsections. I'm curious about the research behind those topics and although it may not be particularly necessary at this stage to delve very deeply into them, it could be something to think about for the future. You briefly mention the impact of adults on each, but I think that there is a lot there to discuss.
Minor Points -
- The first thing I noticed was a lack of citations. Given the specific dates and periods referenced throughout, I would expect more references.
Overall, your improvements are strong and very noticeable so far. Obviously, there are still many sections to fill in and I have no doubt you'll do a terrific job of doing so!