User talk:Jmarroquin12/sandbox
Articles to review: - Short-finned pilot whale - Risso's dolphin - Dwarf sperm whale - Striped dolphin
Peer review
The article addition is really good and have really good information. The information is really interesting and well organized. The article flows smoothly and is easy to understand, yet there are some review and changes that could be useful and make the article addition even better (already really good). This draft requires some proofreading and grammatically corrections( I did some changes, but not all of them because I did not want to change the meaning of the writing). The introduction has really good information, yet the last sentence needs to be more related to the whole paragraph. The habitat section might need some words to be change. For example " The atmosphere for these animals to appear have to..." the word atmosphere seems to do not fit in the contest and makes it that sentence to do not be that clear. Also, a study is mention in this section maybe some more information about this study could be good. Additionally, for the reproduction/life cycle section some words are too informal such as "stick his penis". Also, in the sentence " months to years pods with the mother..." the word pods does not fit there or maybe some proofreading is needed and the sentence could be change to " spends months to years in their pods with their mothers..." Finally, for this section there is a sentence that says that calve are put in the ocean, but this seem contradictory. I thought whales are already on the ocean, including calves...maybe a bit more information for where they were before. Lastly, for the diet section, some explanation for each squid species could be good or a link to another page for each species. Finally, maybe review the sentence where it says that they use echolocation because they have teeth...probably having teeth is not the reason they use echolocation.
As a whole, the draft is really good. Minor changes are only needed Cp3105pc (talk) 21:15, 13 November 2016 (UTC)
Rough Draft Review
Very nice content Josseline!
I think you have included a very nice in-depth description of the Dwarf Sperm Whale, as well as great references. The language you have used I believe is appropriate for Wikipedia. There are a few areas that I believe could be tweaked just a bit.
I found a few small spelling, grammatical errors so just double check some of the sentences. I made a few suggestions/corrections in bold. Make sure to italicize all biological classification names. The introduction section has excellent information on taxonomy, but perhaps the paragraph can start with a bit more physical description of the Dwarf Sperm Whale, why it's given it's lay name, and then followed by taxonomic classification. "The Dwarf Sperm Whale is a species of whale with a...found in..." "It is different from other whales..." Maybe? You may want to change the language of your reproduction section to be less "descriptive."? and focus more on life span? I may be wrong here. "Fertilization occurs immediately" may be more speculation, as sometimes fertilization can't occur until fusion of sperm/egg.
Otherwise, great content! Wasitchua (talk) 22:33, 15 November 2016 (UTC)
Introduction:
The Dwarf sperm whale is classified in one of the genus of the Kogia. The genus Kogia can be classified into either the Pygmy sperm whale (kogia breviceps) and the Dwarf sperm whale it self, which is a Kogia simus. The dwarf sperm is part of the Animalia kingdom and classified as a chordata phylum. It is in the mammalia class and cetacea order. The kogiidae is the family and is under the genus kogia and species sigma. The dwarf sperm whale is hard to be found and if seen can be relatively hard to identify.[1] Dwarf sperm whales have an estimated life span of about 22 years. [2]
Habitat
(prior text with edits) Dwarf sperm whales like more tropical weather, warm water and are found to be closer to the coast. They also tent to be found around the continental shelf edge and the slope. During the period of 2011 and 2013, studies were done to demonstrate that the dwarf sperm whales prefer subtropical weather. The atmosphere for these animals to appear have to either be sunny or moderately cloudy. In the study, a total of 6 dwarf sperm whales where found in a total of 3 sightings. The first one occurred on October 1, 2011 of the coast Itsandra Bay 30 meter away from the boat where an adult dwarf sperm whale, which was 2 meter in length and a child whale. The second sighting occurred at the same place but 720 meter off coast, where also 2 dwarf sperm whales where witness and the third one occurred on August 8, 2013 off the coast of the bay at 6 km away. All these sightings occurred during times where the times range from 6 to 10. It is believed that there is about 10,000 - 15,000 dwarf sperm whales out in the ocean.[3]
Reproduction / Life cycle
Mating for dwarf sperm whale is unknown, but it is considered that mating occurs as other mammals (not all animals mate this way) mate. The male and female align their bellies to one another and the male stick his penis in the female and fertilization occurs immediately. A female dwarf's gestation lasts 9 months and when they give birth they only produce one offspring. Females gives birth annually and during the summer, assuring that breeding occurs during the fall and winter months. A young dwarf sperm whale is called a calve, and usually spends months to years inside pods with their mothers until they are ready to be put into the ocean. To protect their offspring, females excrete fecal matter, they do this to distract predators from their pods.[4] When a dwarf sperm whale is 2.5 to 5 years old of age and reach a length of about 7 feet it has reached sexually maturity.[5]
Diet
Dwarf sperm whales tend to eat mainly cephalopods, specifically species of squids. Those species range from the Ancistrocheirus lesueurii, the Histioteuthis species, the Chiroteuthis veranyi, and the Octopoteithis species. Another type of animal that can be considered part of their diet are fish, mollusk, small crab and aquatic crustaceans. Because the dwarf sperm whale is a species of a marine mammals that have teeth'tooths', they use echolocation to help them locate their prey in areas where there is not even light. Echolocation is the usage of a reflected sound to be able to localize objects, in this case prey or food.[6] Dwarf sperm whales tend to dive approximately 300 meters to be able to reach their food and tend to eat their prey in shallow waters. In addition, due to analysis of their stomach contents and the fact that they have a low jaw, they tend to feed on prey on or near the ocean bottom. [7]
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Draft Feedback
Josseline, you have done a good job researching your topic here. Your references look very good, and your writing is also generally clear. I do agree with others that your grammar needs some further work, and as you focus on this it may be helpful to think about how to communicate each of your main points as concisely and clearly as possible.
I agree with others that your discussion in your Introduction is not all necessary given the Scientific Classification table that is in the article currently, and your information here is also somewhat redundant with what is currently in this article. The last 2 sentences in your Introduction, however, look like new information. Perhaps the piece on this species being hard to spot would fit under the section on "Description" or "Behavior," and perhaps the piece on how long this species lives would fit under the "Description" or "Life Cycle" section.
As you think more about how to mesh your article addition with the information that is currently in this article, I suggest continuing to go through this process - what new information can you add to this article, where, and how can you add this information in the most clear fashion?
In terms of your Habitat section, you do mention both tropical and subtropical - perhaps choose one of these terms to use (not both). Also, "where the times ranges from 6 to 10" is a little confusing. In the reproduction section, "male stick ... in the female" sounds pretty graphic for Wikipedia. I suggest removing these words and instead using words that are appropriate for all ages. I.e., use words that you would be alright with a young niece or nephew reading. In the diet section, do mention common name for each of these species, followed by scientific name in parentheses. Also, can you link from these species to their respective Wikipedia pages? Rhirshorn (talk) 00:59, 24 November 2016 (UTC)
Peer Review Feedback
I take into great consideration all the feedback each and everyone of you have given me on my article draft. I do agree with you on the point that there is words that should not be used and have to be described in a more clear way. Also the language used in some sentences will be fixed and corrected.
Things I will be fixing:
I will be editing the grammar I will correct spelling and fragments on some sentences I will also add a link to the different type of species on their diet I will be adding more information to the introduction