User talk:Danielford/sandbox/standard fruit company
Comments on Wiki Draft 1. "seven degrees below zero" - C or F? specify. 2. "Sicilian immigrants such as Joseph, Luca, and Felix Vaccaro, and Salvador D’Antoni" I'm guessing you're going to say they had something to do w Standard Fruit...but say it here so readers get link immediately. 3. "It was this responsibility that led them to meet their future business partner" It was in this capacity, that the .... 4. "The four set their eyes on Honduras and the Bay Islands to be their suppliers due to the fertility of the land and their proximity to the ports of New Orleans" clarify who suppliers in these countries were or reword 5. last paragraph doesn't fit chronologically and isn't proofread 6. "Washington Irving Moss of Canal Bank, looking to express the diversity of services" second clause doesn't make sense 7. "public offering of Standard Fruit and Steamship Company in 1926" do you mean offered money for Standard? clarify
Melaniehuska (talk) 18:33, 11 April 2017 (UTC)
Peer Review Comments
Competitors:
Just a reminder that you need to cite the sources for your section in general. Also, you might not want to copy word for word from another source because you could get accused of plagiarism. Your section sounds an awful lot like the competitors section from this website https://www.revolvy.com/topic/Cuyamel%20Fruit%20Company&item_type=topic So you need to go back and make sure it's in your own words. Content wise, I think what you found is good. Just be careful to not use too much of another source's wording.
Danielford (talk) 19:57, 12 April 2017 (UTC)
Company Name:
There is some repeated information from the early history section that probably doesn't need to be here too. So I would say just condense it down a bit. Also you need to make sure to include citations in your section.
Danielford (talk) 18:28, 19 April 2017 (UTC)
Information and chronology of name changes looks good. The only suggestion I would give is to break it up into sections so that it doesn't read as one paragraph.
Davisgillespie (talk) 23:24, 18 April 2017 (UTC)
The first sentence implies that there is a historically well known storm from that year, might read better if the storm was refrenced diffrently. There is a Vaccaro brothers wiki you can link to as well. Sounds good. Thank you.
Varied list of competiors through timeline add sources and go with it.
I really enjoyed the contributions of the article, specifically the company name section as it gives insight into the company's history and brand development. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nheim1 (talk • contribs) 18:55, 24 April 2017 (UTC)