User:BJ Humiston
BJ Humiston
BJ Humiston is a recent addition to the ranks of the editors at Wikipedia. Founder of the site www.pulpingfiction.com. Lives in Cedar Park, Texas. Currently the Grand Master of hand ping-pong. Believes that during Spring Break, there generally are no rules. BJ Humiston is known to have the knowledge of 100 calculus students, but so far this claim cannot be proved.
Hand Ping-Pong
Hand Ping-Pong, as the name implies, is a sport very similar to regular ping-pong, except that it is played with one's own hands, rather than ping-pong paddles. Though Hand Ping-Pong is a relatively new sport, it has a devout following and is well known in the area it was created. This area, known as Cedar Park, Texas, is thought to have had the first Hand Ping-Pong tournament.
Rules of Hand Ping-Pong
The rules of Hand Ping-Pong are almost exactly the same as Ping-Pong, except that Hand Ping-Pong players use their hands rather than paddles. This has caused some controversy though, with some players "cupping" the ball, so that they can get a better shot off. Because of this, most Hand Ping-Pong players enact the rule of "calling" this penalty, with either player being able to call this infraction. Sometimes, if possible, a neutral observer can call this penalty. It is possible to play Hand Ping-Pong with both doubles and singles.
It is widely known that you go hard or you don't go at all in Hand Ping-Pong.
Current Hand Ping-Pong Singles Rankings
1. BJ Humiston (14-5) - Grand Master of Hand Ping-Pong
2. Brad Long (1-1) - Assistant Grand Master
3. Brent Lewis (5-11) - Assistant to the Grand Master
4. Michael Hemati (0-1) - Decent prospect
5. Nate "Natalie" Brown (0-2) Worst player in history, should probably retire
Mr. Humiston is 9-3 vs. co-creator Brent Lewis, and also holds an undefeated 1-0 record vs. Brad Long. It might be a coincidence that the three highest rated singles player's names all start with the English letter "B".
Recently there have been rumors of a Hand Ping-Pong tournament, though one has yet to be developed. It is rumored that if such a tournament were to a occur, a ride on a donkey would most likely be the first place prize.
A tournament has recently been confirmed for Wednesday, February 14th. Although this is also Valentine's Day, in a game as intense as Hand Ping-Pong, there will be no love involved. This tournament was easily won by BJ Humiston, as he destroyed Nate Brown, Mr. Michael, and Brent Lewis.
Other Hand Ping-Pong Players
Pedro Feitosa has beaten BJ in doubles, though it should be noted that BJ had a novice on his team who was not paying attention to the game and frequently left the table, much to Mr. Humiston's anger. BJ lost this game in overtime, 27-25. Most sources agree that BJ could easily defeat Pedro "Costa Coast" Feitosa in a singles match, yet as of now, Mr. Feitosa is undefeated. This is seen as amazing to many Hand Ping-Pongers, as Pedro is widely known to be a non-team player.
Humble Beginnings
Hand Ping-Pong was invented by Brent Lewis and BJ Humiston one day after a heated regular Ping-Pong match. Brent Lewis put down his paddle, and is quoted as having said "We don't need paddles." Mr. Humiston then proceeded to put down his paddle and defeat Mr. Lewis in five straight Hand Ping-Pong matches in what is still regarded as the longest winning streak in Hand Ping-Pong history.