Template:Did you know nominations/Fraternal Society of Patriots of Both Sexes

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Matty.007 17:20, 21 December 2013 (UTC)

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Fraternal Society of Patriots of Both Sexes

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  • Comment: Moved from AFC on Dec. 13. This article is a prominent example of suffering of a new wikipedian. AFC was rather unfriendly (probably due to a huge backlog). It took me a only a couple hours to polish the article in the subject area completely unknown to me: to make notability prominent, to cross-link within wikipedia (uncovering alternate titles along the way), etc.

Created/expanded by Jessicklea (talk). Nominated by Staszek Lem (talk) at 22:22, 13 December 2013 (UTC).

  • Article - moved from AFC on 13 December, so new enough; 2164 characters of readable prose, so long enough; neutral; at least one inline citation to every paragraph; sources can't be run through duplication detector but I didn't spot anything in the preview of a couple of the books; and assessed as start class, so not a stub.
  • Hook - within length criteria at 117 characters; correctly formatted; and interesting.
  • No QPQ required; and no image used.

I can see that the convent hosted meetings of the Society (and this is supported by the ref) but I can't find anything in the article about giving it's name to the Jacobin Club? Also, could the text: In some ways, the société fraternelle was seen as renting the energy of their female members ... be clarified? Apologies if I perhaps just have my dim head on today! SagaciousPhil - Chat 14:04, 20 December 2013 (UTC)

Dim head is good: it forces you to think harder :-) At first I was going to answer "The name origin is where it belongs: in the Jacobins article. " However reading wikipedia a bit I noticed that the description there (and in related artcles is confusing and cntroversial. The fact is basically true, but the description is sloppy. Therefore I will take some time to fix the issue (in at least 3 related articles). Meanwhile I will suggest the relpacement stub. Staszek Lem (talk) 17:25, 20 December 2013 (UTC)
I rewrote the sentence a bit (by removing various circumlocutions). Is it clearer now?
  • "The Fraternal Society was lending the energy of their female members to long dull speeches of the Jacobins, which were enthusiastically cheered by vivacious female participants who frequently rallied and energized their fellow revolutionaries." (actually French wkipedia ways that Marat himself praised them for energizing the rallies, but I cannot find the reference right away.)Staszek Lem (talk) 17:43, 20 December 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks for clarifying that so promptly, Staszek Lem. I have tweaked the grammar in the ALT1 hook but haven't changed the meaning at all - changed resided -> met and added 'meetings of' - so I don't think it means I cannot now approve this. I have struck the original hook. Thanks for taking the time to help a new editor with AFC!
Looks fine now. SagaciousPhil - Chat 09:17, 21 December 2013 (UTC)
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