Talk:Zali Steggall/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: GraziePrego (talk · contribs) 04:36, 30 January 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: I'll take this one. Please note, I view reviews as a conversation to improve the article. Please feel free to discuss anything that I propose. SusunW (talk · contribs) 15:44, 1 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Photos appear to have adequate licensing information; however, I am unsure about the signature. The US position is clear, but I see nothing in the licensing page, Commons:When to use the PD-signature tag, that discusses Australia. Do you have information that a signature isn't subject to copyright there?
Senator's and Members of Parliament (ref 1) is dead. Add Wayback link and url-status=dead
- The link isn't dead for me, not sure why IAbot won't archive it but it works fine on my end. GraziePrego (talk) 02:29, 2 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

No idea, perhaps it's a Mexico thing, but I just get a timed out error every time I try to access it, but I can see it here. SusunW (talk) 13:14, 2 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

looking at sports-Reference.com contributors, major contributors appear to be members of the International Society of Olympic Historians and other contributors who have provided corrections to entries. Although I don't find an actual editing policy, given that among the list of authors are Bill Mallon, who has published numerous histories of the Olympics; Arild Gjerde and Ove Karlsson, both awarded prizes from the ISOH for their work; and Jeroen Heijmans also a published author on the Olympics, I am willing to accept it as a RS.
Ref 3, labeled "about" goes to a generic page with no biographical data in it. It needs to instead be linked to the page Meet Zali and specify that she is the author, thus it is a primary source. Probably better to cite it to a secondary source, like this.
~~Cannot find accessible copy of Andrews (2000), nor Gordon (2003), p. 282. AGF.~~
Citing her mother's book to the book itself is problematic. 1) it is primary, and 2) it would need to say on some specific page that she is Steggall's mother and that it was about their life in France. Better to cite it to Jacqueline Maley's piece in The Sydney Morning Herald, a reliable secondary source.
~~Steggall was educated for 18 months in Sydney has no citation. Maley's article above confirms she went to school at Queenwood beginning in 1989, but does not confirm 18 months. Please provide a RS.~~ Removed the mention of 18 months as couldn't find confirmation of that.
~~should "ten Tests" be linked to Test match (rugby league) for readers who have no idea what that means, like me?~~
The article in the Australian Financial Review is paywalled. An accessible copy is available in Wayback. It is authored by Andrew Clark, who should be credited and either marked with a template for subscription required or the archive link should be added. There is an archive link already present on this reference
I'm confused by her father's teams. Clark does not list what teams he played for, but says he was "an active lifesaver in Manly". To me, that seems like he was also a surf lifesaver, i.e. competitive water sportsman and lifesaver, not rugby. Maley says he played rugby for the Norths and Manly, so you need to add a citation to Maley's article and clarify Manly Lifesavers. i.e. is it Manly Life Saving Club? Added a source for this. Oddly, I think there is a rugby club called the Manly Lifesavers as well as there being a lifesaving club with a similar name.

Wow, that's confusing. Since we are unsure and since Stegall says it, I would put quotations around "played rugby for Northern Suburbs, Manly Rugby Club and Manly Lifesavers". SusunW (talk) 13:14, 2 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Gordon, p. 280 doesn't make it clear that she trained abroad. It says only that the Australian Ski Institute provided alpine training with Spiegl. Both this and this make it clear she trained with the Austrian and German men's teams.
Albertville in 1992, at the age of 17 is cited to The Compendium, p. 218, but it says nothing about Albertville or her age on that page. The previous page in inaccessible to me, but given other entries, it doesn't give bio info on athletes, just the name of the event. Sports-reference.com, which needs to be cited, confirms Albertville as her debut and her age.
~~No access to The Compendium, p. 220, AGF.~~
event at Sankt Anton citation goes to a blank page of the Daily Telegraph and no links in Wayback work. This confirms she made it into the top 10 at St. Anton, but doesn't confirm that was her first time in the top tier. Removed claim of "first time"
Can't access Andrews (2000), p. 405, AGF. But, I note that sometimes you use s and sometimes you use sec, it should be standardized. If it were me, I'd probably use the full word seconds to ensure that readers understand, but maybe there is a template for race times? Admittedly, WP technology is baffling to me, so I have no idea if such a thing exists.
~~Again can't access Andrews (2000), p. 405, but I note that Curtain says she won by 0.78 seconds.~~
~~Andrews (2000), p. 405 and 314 are inaccessible. I would perhaps add this to both sentences about her win and her time because of the accessibility issues.~~
At the end of In December, Steggall placed the link goes to a blank page of the Daily Telegraph and no links in Wayback work. This confirms her 1 second loss to Pärson. After this you need to say that the 2nd place finish made her the first woman from Australia to win an alpine medal in a World Cup competition, cited to Sport Australia Hall of Fame.
~~Same problem with the ref on She had earlier placed seventh at Park City, but this looks like it says she finished 2nd in Park City and was ranked 7th overall?~~
~~Gordon (2003), p. 282 is inaccessible, AGF~~
Andrews (2000), p. 405 not accessible, AGF, but how do we know that Vail was her last? Same with {tq|10th at Aare, Sweden, the last top 10 result in her career}}. Those are both cited to that dead Daily Telegraph link and I find nothing in Newspapers.com or a book search. Do you have another source? After the sentence about Vail, you need to input that her Alpine World Championship title was the first for any athlete in the southern hemisphere.
The Compendium, p. 225 is inaccessible to me, AGF. Steggall's Olympic career ended...Why is this sentence not part of the previous paragraph? One sentence paragraphs typically conflict with WP:Proseline as they aren't actually prose, but function as timelines or bullet points. I think it needs to be part of the preceding paragraph.
In the lede, you have Steggall is Australia's most internationally successful alpine skier and In the Winter Olympics she is Australia's first individual medallist, first female medallist, and only medallist in alpine skiing. None of which is cited in the body of the article. The lede is supposed to be a summary of already cited material, so you need this information verified in this section. The link to the Sport Australia Hall of Fame confirms most of that (not only alpine medalist, so if you have a source for that, it needs to be included or removed from the lede), but shows "most internationally successful alpine skier" is a direct quote. (I'm going back to the above and note where you should input the other info from this link.)

Legal career

~~Steggall retired from skiing in 2002 is not verified in Family Law Chambers but is confirmed in the Sport Australia Hall of Fame. Change link.~~
She completed a Bachelor of Arts, majoring in communications and media studies from Griffith University, Brisbane, Queensland, and then studied law. She was admitted as a solicitor while working for her father's legal practice, Roper & Steggall, in Manly, New South Wales. In 2008, she was admitted to the NSW Bar. again not verified in Family Law Chambers. This link from the International Ski and Snowboard Federation confirms most of it, but does not give the name of her father's firm. Perhaps link New South Wales Bar Association
Her principal areas of practice as a barrister were family law, sports law, commercial law, real-property law, local government and planning law, corporations and insolvency law, and equity. does not appear to be supported by Family Law Chambers. The Ski Federation confirms sports law. This says sport and family law and this says sport, family, and commercial law. Do you have a source that confirms all of that?
Steggall was councillor to the NSW Bar Association and chair of its Health, Sports, and Recreation Committee from 2010 to 2013 is really close to the source material "Steggall served as councillor to the NSW Bar Association from 2010 to 2013 and was Chair of its Health, Sports and Recreation Committee from 2010 to 2013". You need to rephrase. Also, I would probably site it to the Ski Federation site which is not primary.
For the second paragraph, do we have any source that is independent? She is a member of Family Law Chambers, Open Politics says it's information is compiled from candidate statements, and she attended Queenwood. If there aren't any, there aren't, but it would be better to find at least one source that is independent. (Anne Davies and Paul Karp of The Guardian verify the International Council of Arbitration for Sport in 2017 and that she is on the board of Queenswood.)

Politics

Anne Davies and Paul Karp say she advocated for 4 main issues. I don't see any discussion here of her support of a stable economy and opposition to proposals then being considered on capital gains tax, franking credits, negative gearing,(per Davies/Karp Jan 2019) and a seniors' tax.(per Sam Clench) She also advocated for fairer and lower taxes for small businesses.(per Davies May 2019) I think it's important as it was part of the opposition to her candidacy's misrepresentation of her positions. I see that you discuss franking later, but I think it needs to be in her positions and the discussion on the debate, needs to be on their clash on climate change, because Davies said it was the major issue of the debate.
~~Not a big deal for GA, but campaign.[23][17] refs aren't in numerical order.~~
If you move the bit about franking above, then possibly add something like During the debate, Steggall and Abbott clashed on measures to address climate change, such as stronger vehicle emissions standards, and support for electric cars and charging stations. Abbott opposed subsidizing the car industry. Although Steggall did not favor a mandate for 50 percent electric vehicles by 2030, she supported policies that would move toward that target and sufficient charging stations to support the higher electric use. She felt with better controls in place emissions could be reduced more than 45 percent by 2030. She also supported the creation of an independent advisory to phase out dependence on coal and spur development of renewable energy projects. (Obviously your call, but the source does focus on this topic most.)
~~Why would you name Robert Purves but call Sandra Purves only "his sister"?~~
(I'm convinced it is either a "Mexico thing" or Australia blocks outside access to its electoral sites. I cannot access the Australian Electoral Commission site either.) The archived link points to a page that says Stegall won by 58.69% but with only 17.72% of the vote counted. The page that supports vote of 57.24% is this one. Correct archive link.
~~over 4,100 She had 40,034 votes, he had 35,935 a difference of 4,099. Shouldn't it say just under 4,100?~~
Her victory marked the first time that the traditional blue-ribbon Liberal seat had been out of the hands of the Liberals or their predecessors since its formation in 1922. Don't see this in the cited source. It says "Warringah was first contested at the 1922 election and has always been a safe conservative seat" this says Warringah is "traditionally regarded as a blue-ribbon Liberal seat" and this says it voted for conservative MPs since it was founded.
The section marked Member of Parliament definitely has issues with proseline and has far too many headings. I think you need only two: "First Term" and "Second Term". First term should provide an overview of all of her work, not just foreign policy. For example, her Parliament bio says she served on the Standing Committee on Environment and Energy and the Joint Select Committee for Australia's Family Law System Reform from 2019 to 2022. This says her position on family law was that the approach should balance the rights of mothers and fathers but to avoid polarization should focus on the rights of children. According to this, she opposed a proposal make the Family Court part of the Federal Circuit Court because it would overburden judges already dealing with excessive case loads, and eliminate the specialized and supportive nature of the family court. She also objected to live broadcasting of the committee's inquiry after Pauline Hanson's One Nation's live-stream allowed commenters to attack witnesses, per this According to this, in August 2021 she introduced a private member's bill regarding truth in campaign advertising, this says but it was not supported by the two major parties.
In March 2021, Steggall joined I don't think we know when she joined, just that she was a member of the group. The article is dated March 2021, but says "who last year met with Mr Assange in Britain, said the point of the meeting was to express the group's support for Mr Assange" so we know only that it was formed prior to 2020. Perhaps just "In foreign policy matters Steggall, part of the "Bring Julian Assange Home" parliamentary group, opposed extradition of Assange to face charges in the United States on his publishing rights.
2022 Beijing Winter Olympics, The Australian is paywalled and should be marked {{subscription required}} or you could change it out for this link, which says she felt it pressures athletes to make a political statement for their governments.
In the section "second term", I would eliminate the headers "2022 federal election", "Indigenous Voice to Parliament", and "Tax policy" making only 2 paragraphs. The first about her election campaign and the second a[1][2] and it was even reported in the [New York Times] so seems a big deal?
~~Steggall retained her seat Join to the previous paragraph and just say "She retained".~~
~~Deves.[37] Steggall increased her margin after flows better if you say "Deves, and increased her margin" Link is to the 2019 election with Abbott. Change it to 2022.~~
~~Second paragraph should start with her Parliament bio info, which says she began serving on the Standing Committee of Climate Change, Energy, Environment and Water in 2022.~~
I think it is important to say what the Indigenous referendum was about, i.e. according to Northern Beaches Advocate it would have created an advisory body for Indigenous input to the government on legislation and policies that would affect Indigenous people.
large multinational companies evading tax is cited to a primary link by her. this is a secondary source, which appears to be reliable as it has an editorial board who oversees its reporters. After evading tax, I'd probably add "but protected retirees' uperannuations from excessive taxation, per this
She reintroduced her false advertising legislation in 2023, per this and this shows other issues she wanted addressed such as housing affordability, pro-business policies, and economic inequalities.
making changes to the planned stage three tax cuts. What changes?

Personal

Proseline issues. Both sentences should be one paragraph. In 2007, her relationship with marketing executive Tim Irving was made public is cited to an article from the Telegraph but both the link and archive go to a blank page in the Herald Sun. and married later that year also says it's an article from the Telegraph but there is no article at the link and the archive page is an error. If you cannot find reliable links, better to just show what you can glean from Maley, they met in 2007, he was a marketing executive and he had 3 daughters. SusunW (talk) 20:27, 3 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Template

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written. Lede should not exceed 3 paragraphs
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. Full review of all sources.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Okay, that's it from me. Thanks for your work on her. I really enjoyed learning about her life. Please ping me when you have addressed the points above, or if you need to discuss something with me. SusunW (talk) 20:43, 3 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your comments- it’s always great sharing Australian politics with people worldwide :)

I will get to work on your comments. GraziePrego (talk) 00:28, 4 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Real life has gotten in the way of working on this but I shall try get it done over the next few days :) GraziePrego (talk) 04:00, 8 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]