Talk:Xgrid/GA1

GA Review - Xgrid

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

5. It is stable.
6. It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

   a (tagged and captioned): b (lack of images does not in itself exclude GA): c (non-free images have fair use rationales):

7. Overall:

   a Pass/Fail: miranda 11:30, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

P.S.: I copied some stuff from Microsoft Word, so the formatting will be a little bit off. :-) Several prose issues exist within the article. If you have ?s contact me on my talk. miranda 11:30, 31 July 2008 (UTC)

Lead

• first sentence is a run-on
• job needs to be linked to "job (software)"
• disambig: protocol, node, client (doesn't need to be linked twice), controller, cluster, and task
• de-link cost
• Third paragraph is a run-on sentence
• When Apple designed Xgrid, - comma for flow

Protocol

• 2nd sentence is a run on
• X-grid protocol itself
• If BEEP-HTML article, exists please link it, otherwise explain
• What is “embarassly parallel tasks”? - Not done, the meaning of the work is explained in the previous sentence computations that are largely time consuming and that can be easily segregated into smaller tasks, commonly known as embarrassingly parallel tasks. meaning that embarrassingly parallel tasks are computations that are largely time consuming and that can be easily segregated into smaller tasks.
• include: (without a colon)
• re-word second paragraph prose
• de-capitalize message and reply

Architecture

• first sentence is a run-on
• second sentence – asynchronously – de-link
• but probably asynchronously – why need the “but probably”? Why not use “or”
• first sentence in second paragraph needs to be reworded into groups “A, B, C” to better flow
• if there are more – why not use more?
• Why are you using “your”? This is not a manual. Please take this out
• “If there are ____________.” “If there are ____________.” Redundant and not good sentence/prose flow.
• On picture, take out “click to enlarge”

History

• needs to be before the protocol section
• first is a run-on
• for its ease of use
• Apple Inc. - we all know what Apple is in this context
• What is NEXT and API? – please explain
• Last sentence is a run-on
• First sentence of 2nd paragraph is a run-on
• GHZ needs a space and an exact link

Interface

• version 10.4 – not v10.4, please don’t abbreviate.
• Increased its
• However  needs to be a new sentence
• ; however, Apple’s decision ...
• “Server Admin Tools” – not capitalized
• ...which can be ran ...OS X version 10.5
• It is possible ... It is possible  repetitive

 Done —Atyndall ^{[citation needed]} 12:07, 3 August 2008 (UTC)