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Jack's supposedly dead dad visits Jack - "father".
claiming Eddie to be dead - doesn't make sense. How's "claiming that Eddie is dead"?
This eventually leads to an arguement - sp, "argument".
Floyd, who Liz has romantic feelings for - Floyd is the object, so "for whom Liz has romantic feelings".
When Liz fires Floyd's girlfriend, she eventually goes on a rampage - doesn't make sense. "When..." and "eventually" both refer to particular times, and they're contradicting each other. Maybe "After Liz fires..."
he's transferring Floyd's girlfriend to General Electric - "he is".
going as far as going to church with Kenneth Parcell - "going as far as going..." isn't great wording. Perhaps "going as far as attending".
I'm a little sceptical about the Production section. GA criterion 3 says the article must be "broad in its coverage", but I'm not so sure the production of the episode is sufficiently addressed. The only real point has been fleshed out into a paragraph, but the gist of it is "These three guest stars once appeared on SNL, which once featured Fey, Morgan and Baldwin, and a bunch of other SNL stars have been in other episodes." To me, that offers the reader nothing notable about this particular episode - the only part relevant to this standalone episode is "Jason Sudeikis, Molly Shannon and Siobhan Fallon Hogan, who played Floyd, Katherine Catherine and Patrica in this episode, have all appeared in the main cast of Saturday Night Live". The rest of the info is just really expanding on this without referring to this particular episode. Basically, if I were to summarise the article in bullet points, I'd only have one for this section. With that in mind, I'm doubting whether this is broad enough.
Matt Webb Mitovich of TV Guide thought that "something ... just wasn't clicking for [him]." - maybe replace the word "thought". I wouldn't say, "I think something's not clicking for me." I'd know if something wasn't clicking for me. The "for me" is what makes it an opinion so the thing as a whole is a statement, not an opinion in itself. Maybe use "thought" for Julia Ward's review as her statement is an opinion. Also use 'single quotation marks' around the episode title in her quote.
That's it, really - if you're stuck on the Production section, maybe there's a DVD commentary you can listen to or something? You've got a week to make changes while the GAN's on hold. —97198 (talk) 07:32, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've fixed all the points brought up. About the production section: i've tried expanding it and i'll have another search for information later. I'd use a commentary but there wasn't one for this episode on the DVD release. -- [User]JamieJCA[Talk] 12:55, 27 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Again, neither point (in Production) actually addresses the production of this particular episode. The gist of the first point is "Jason Sudeikis, Molly Shannon and Siobhan Fallon Hogan, who played Floyd, Katherine Catherine and Patrica in this episode, have all appeared in the main cast of Saturday Night Live", while the gist of the second is "one of the regular actors' sister appeared in this episode". Neither of these points tells me anything about the production of the episode - it may as well be a brief cast list with some background info. I really don't think this is broad enough (there being no real info about production) to satisfy the GA criteria. You've still got until Sept. 3 but if you can't dig up any more relevant info by then, I think it'll have to be failed :( —97198 (talk) 02:15, 30 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Okey dokey. I'm happy with the expansion of Production (pulled that out of nowhere, eh?) so I'll promote the article. —97198 (talk) 06:41, 3 September 2008 (UTC)[reply]
