Talk:Star Wars: The Force Awakens/GA1
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Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 02:01, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
Hey, I'm going to be reviewing this article. Expect comments later in the week. Some Dude From North Carolinawanna talk? 02:01, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
- Editor Mary Jo Markey is credited first in the poster so they should be credited first in the infobox.
- Is the mention of the $258.6 million net budget necessary?
Done removed Chompy Ace 06:33, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- Link the Star Wars: The Force Awakens (soundtrack) in the sentence containing the phrase "returned to compose the score"
- Fix the following redirect: "[[List of highest-grossing films in Canada and the United States|highest-grossing film in North America]]" → ""[[List of highest-grossing films in the United States and Canada|highest-grossing film in North America]]""
Done, also changed wording per WP:FILMBOXOFFICE Chompy Ace 06:33, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- "third-highest-grossing film at the time of the release" → "third-highest-grossing film at the time of its release"
- "The film received five nominations" → "The film received numerous accolades, including five nominations"
Plot
- This section is 679 words, so there's no problems with WP:FILMPLOT.
Already done Chompy Ace 07:13, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
Cast
- This archive does not mention any description of any character.
Done relocated as in Avengers: Endgame#Cast Chompy Ace 06:39, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- The reference after "don't change…" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:39, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- Try changing all uses of "..." in this section and in others to "[...]" as it's more visually pleasing.
Done Chompy Ace 09:25, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- This hasn't been changed.
Done all uses now [...] Chompy Ace 20:38, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- This hasn't been changed.
- "Han does not" → "[Han] does not"
- "Some things don't change…" → "Some things don't change."
- "a fairy tale…" → "a fairy tale."
- The reference after "more broken hearted" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:54, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- "He's been taught about [Luke]" → "He's been taught about Luke Skywalker"
- The reference after "suggest things" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:54, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- Any reason why the description for Lor San Tekka isn't formatted the same way as the other characters?
Already done per consistency with MCU films to have their formatting, in that case do not have quotations or notes. Examples are Black Widow (2021 film)#Cast and Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings#Cast. Chompy Ace 06:41, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- I couldn't find any mentions of Hayden Christensen or Ian McDiarmid in this reference or this one.
Done removed Chompy Ace 06:58, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- The reference after "Vocal Consultants" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:58, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- The reference after "Statura, an admiral in the Resistance" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:58, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- The second reference after "dealer on Jakku" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:59, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- Kiran Shah isn't mentioned in this citation.
Done added reference pre-existed from the BFI Chompy Ace 07:00, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- Move the references after "Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Kate Fleetwood" to the end of the sentence they're in.
- "cameo as stormtroopers" → "cameo as stormtroopers"
- The second reference after "cameo as stormtroopers" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 07:05, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- The reference after "Resistance officer" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 07:05, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- The reference after "Captain Cypress" isn't working.
Fixed now marked as dead Chompy Ace 07:05, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- "Additionally, minor roles appear in the film including: Crystal Clarke, Pip Andersen,[1] Christina Chong,[1] Miltos Yerolemou,[1] Amybeth Hargreaves,[1] Leanne Best,[1] Judah Friedlander,[1] and Kevin Smith.[1]" → "Additionally, Crystal Clarke, Pip Andersen,[1] Christina Chong,[1] Miltos Yerolemou,[1] Amybeth Hargreaves,[1] Leanne Best,[1] Judah Friedlander,[1] and Kevin Smith appear in minor roles.[1]"
- The reference after "and musicians" isn't working.
Already done removed per Special:Diff/1003881307 Chompy Ace 07:12, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
Production
Development
- Are the four references after "The Force Awakens' first screenplay was written by Michael Arndt" all needed? Seems like it falls under WP:OVERLINK.
Done now 1 reference Chompy Ace 02:17, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- It feels like there's a rough transition between George Lucas and Luke Skywalker, so I would link Luke Skywalker and put his name in full the first time he's mentioned.
- "Original Trilogy" → "original trilogy"
- I couldn't find Ben Affleck in this reference.
Done removed Chompy Ace 02:17, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- J. J. Abrams didn't say he "[returned] to the roots of the first Star Wars film", he said he went back to the roots of the first films". Not the first film, the first films.
- "studying languages such as Hindi and Gujarati" → "studying various languages, such as Hindi and Gujarati".
- Link The Last Jedi.
Pre-production
- Since its still about the British: "the film industry" → "its film industry"
- "Maryann Brandon and Mary Jo Markey" → "Mary Jo Markey and Maryann Brandon" per consistency with the credits
- Why is Daniel Mindel mentioned twice?
Done reduced to last name Chompy Ace 02:31, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
Casting
Done removed Ireland Chompy Ace 05:45, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- Is the image necessary if you can't see a single person?
Done moved image at the Cast section (similar to Avengers: Age of Ultron#Cast) Chompy Ace 06:20, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- The claim that "Casting began around August 2013" needs a reference.
Done removed Chompy Ace 06:20, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- Link and archive this reference to the citation after "the script by Kasdan and Abrams".
- Reference after "Frida Gustavsson" is dead.
Fixed marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:20, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- "into April. In April" → "into April. That same month,"
- As he was already mentioned in this section: "Hamill, Serkis, Oscar Isaac" → "Hamill, Serkis, Isaac"
- The sentence "The announcement was originally planned for May 4, but was announced early for fear of media leaks" needs a reference.
Done removed Chompy Ace 06:20, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- Link Gwendoline Christie.
- The reference after "to accommodate him" is dead.
Fixed marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:20, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
Filming
- The reference after "65 mm IMAX format" is dead.
Fixed marked as dead Chompy Ace 21:53, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- Don't link "selfie" per WP:OVERLINK.
- Some long captions have periods, some don't. Try to be consistent here, and in the rest of the article.
Done, as in Avengers: Age of Ultron, with every image's captions do not have a period Chompy Ace 21:53, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- Link Millennium Falcon.
Post-production
- Mark the reference after "Disney Research" with "|url-access=subscription"
- "as 124–125 minutes" → "as 124 minutes"
- "nothing to do there of value, except to be sitting around" → "nothing to do there of value [...] So we ended up leaving those things out."
Music
- Is the entire quote after "in ways that" necessary. Try making it shorter.
- Link Culver City.
- The two references after "remainder of the recordings" mention LA, so maybe mention that in the article as well.
- A reference is needed for Williams saying recording sessions were "very luxurious".
Done removed Chompy Ace 21:55, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- The following sentences also need references for verification: "The score was recorded by the Hollywood Studio Symphony, a freelance orchestra, with sessions continuing on and off over that five-month period. The 90-piece orchestra recorded 175 minutes of music, although nearly an hour of that was discarded, modified, or rerecorded as Abrams reedited the film. Williams' theme for Snoke was recorded by a 24-voice men's chorus."
Done for adding a reference,
Partly done for rewording a copied text within the reference Chompy Ace 21:55, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
Release
- "(such as Italy and France, releasing it on a Wednesday)" → "(such as Italy and France)"
- Remove "(releasing on a Thursday)".
- Couldn't find "3D and IMAX 3D" in this reference.
Fixed changed reference Chompy Ace 23:07, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- Where did "4,134 theaters" come from?
Done added reference Chompy Ace 23:07, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- Why is information about the title in this section? Seems like something that would go in #Post-production.
Done moved Chompy Ace 23:07, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
- Consistency: "ten thousand" → "10,000"
- "In total it sold over $50 million in pre-sales breaking the record." → "In total, it sold over $50 million in pre-sales, breaking the record."
- Mark the reference after "main titles" with "url-access=subscription".
- A reference is needed for the claim that "Ultimately, Disney's logo was largely absent from the film's marketing—but nonetheless, appeared on merchandise and the startup sequences of Star Wars smartphone games".
Done removed Chompy Ace 23:07, 2 February 2021 (UTC)
Marketing
- Sort of like in The Social Network article, make this subsection its own section in between #Music and #Release.
- The reference after "the significance of the new characters" is dead.
Fixed marked as dead Chompy Ace 06:12, 3 February 2021 (UTC)
- In the first paragraph, link The Hollywood Reporter and The Guardian.
- The reference after "several characters" is dead. Additionally, the archive isn't working.
- The second teaser being watched 88 million times broke which record?
Done removed records Chompy Ace 06:12, 3 February 2021 (UTC)
- "The event was broadcast live". If you are referring to the trailer just say "The trailer" or "The teaser".
Done removed Chompy Ace 06:12, 3 February 2021 (UTC)
- "At the 2015 San Diego Comic-Con International" → "At the 2015 San Diego Comic-Con International"
- A reference is needed for the claim that the third trailer "debuted during the halftime break of Monday Night Football, before being released online".
Done added Chompy Ace 06:12, 3 February 2021 (UTC)
- "since France is one of the first countries" → "since France was one of the first countries"
Tie-in literature and merchandise
- "with releases from multiple publishers starting in late 2015" → "with were released by multiple publishers starting in late 2015"
- Mark the reference after "until January 2016" as "url-access=subscription"
- Since this reference specifically focuses on the retailer: "Many retailers were unable to meet demand for Star Wars products" → "Many retailers, such as Toys "R" Us", were unable to meet demand for Star Wars products due to the event".
- Sorry, I suggested a sentence with a typo: "with were released by multiple publishers starting in late 2015" → "which were released by multiple publishers starting in late 2015"
Video games
- Can this section be changed to just prose instead of a list of games? The current format seems weird compared to the rest of the article.
Done converted to prose Chompy Ace 07:33, 3 February 2021 (UTC)
- Since they're short, combine both paragraphs into one.
Home media
- The sentence "The home media release contains additional footage" seems short, and the reference being used contains more than just that.
Done expanded Chompy Ace 07:41, 3 February 2021 (UTC)
- "by Abrams" → "by director J. J. Abrams"
Reception
Box office
- The first reference being used says the film made "$936.6 million" in the US and Canada. Box Mojo is the one saying "$936.7 million", so I would just cite that.
- I couldn't find "110 million tickets" in this reference, and it's already covered at the end of the sentence with this.
- The reference after "($128 million)" is dead.
Fixed marked as dead Chompy Ace 00:03, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- Is the claim that the film had "the most tickets sold by any film in the United States and Canada since Titanic (1997) ($128 million)" actually covered here?
Done removed Chompy Ace 00:03, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
Commercial analysis
- No mention of "4,134 theaters" here.
Fixed added pre-existing reference Chompy Ace 00:13, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- The first and third references after "$175–250 million" are from December, so change "In November" to "Months prior to the film's release"
- "that the film will be the first" → "that the film would be the first"
Done removed Chompy Ace 00:10, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- I couldn't find any mention of $3 billion in this reference.
Done removed Chompy Ace 00:10, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- The second reference after "Avatar's global gross" is dead.
Fixed marked as dead Chompy Ace 00:10, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- I said the second one was dead, not the first.
- "analysts feel that it lacked the novelty factor; they also cite" → "analysts felt that it lacked the novelty factor; they also cited"
- "previously done. Films do not play in overseas theaters as long as they did back when Avatar was released" → "previously done, and for films not playing in overseas theaters as long as they did back when Avatar was released"
- "Mike Fleming of Deadline.com" → "Mike Fleming of Deadline Hollywood"
- The following changes are needed because the quote is off: "the net profit to Disney an astounding $923M, and the Cash on Cash Return twice that of any other film [released in 2016], at 2.31" → "the net profit to Disney was an astounding $780.11M, and the Cash on Cash Return was twice that of any other film [released in 2016], at 2.00."
- "when Avatar was released" → "when Avatar was released"
United States and Canada
Replaced reference with Deadline Hollywood Chompy Ace 21:01, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- I also couldn't find "$62.1 million" here.
Done removed Chompy Ace 21:06, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- "$247,966,675" is really specific, and it's not in this source. "$59,982 per theater (or $17,220 per screen)" is also not there.
Done removed "59,982 per theater (or $17,220 per screen)" claim,
Replaced reference with The Numbers Chompy Ace 21:15, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- "record holder(s)" → "record holders"
- The reference after "in its original run" is dead.
- Couldn't find "$190.8 million" or "$63.6 million per day" here. I also couldn't find "The opening-weekend audience was evenly split among those under and over the age of 25, with 58% of the audience male, 71% adults, 20% families, and 9% teenagers" in the reference.
Done removed Chompy Ace 21:21, 4 February 2021 (UTC)
- Add a website parameter to the reference after "biggest single- and opening-day record".
Other territories
- Add a comma after December 16, 2015.
- Distribute the references after "16 other countries".
- This reference says the film made $14.4 million in the UK, not $14.3 million.
- I couldn't find "Mexico ($3.4 million)" or "Italy ($3.1 million)" here. Additionally, the reference says Japan made $3 million, not $3.1M.
- Where did "72 markets" come from?
Done removed Chompy Ace 02:17, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
- "United Kingdom, Ireland and Malta ($50.6 million)" → "United Kingdom ($50.6 million)" per this source.
- Shouldn't the sentence that starts with "Revenues in the film's second weekend decreased by only 39.8% in the United States and Canada" be in #United_States_and_Canada?
Done Chompy Ace 02:17, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
- This wasn't done.
Done moved Chompy Ace 21:12, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
- This wasn't done.
- "$70 million in 10 days" → "$70 million in 11 days"
Critical response
- Could bullet points be added to the cite bundle after "positive reviews from critics"?
- Update RT.
- "women, under-25s and under-18s" → "women, and people under the ages of 25 and 18"
- In this section, try removing some quotes, paraphrasing, and better categorizing (making paragraphs that talk about the same thing) using WP:RECEPTION.
Accolades
- The two references after "2016 Critics' Choice Awards" don't mention The Force Awakens.
Replaced both refs to a sole ref The Hollywood Reporter, which mentions the film Chompy Ace 21:22, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
- Can a reference be added for The Force Awakens being "the most nominated film in Saturn Award history"?
Done removed claim and reworded sentence Chompy Ace 21:39, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
- "Best Actor for Ford" → "Best Actor for Harrison Ford"
- "Best Supporting Actor for Driver" → "Best Supporting Actor for Adam Driver"
- Can a reference be added for the last part of the claim that "The Force Awakens received eleven nominations at the MTV Movie Awards, the most for the ceremony"?
Replaced both refs to a sole ref MTV, so it could remain the "received eleven nominations at the MTV Movie Awards" sentence;
Fixed sentence, by removing "the most for the ceremony" Chompy Ace 21:35, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
Sequels
The Last Jedi
- Link Rian Johnson.
- "he would direct" → "he would write and direct"
- Can you list the names in full, rather than just their last names?
Done, and added links Chompy Ace 23:40, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
The Rise of Skywalker
- "Abrams" → "J. J. Abrams"
- A reference is needed for "The Rise of Skywalker was released on December 20, 2019"
- Link original trilogy.
- Link prequel trilogies
- Mark Hamill and Gwendoline Christie aren't mentioned in this reference, so I suggest adding another.
Fixed added reference for Hamill claim and Christie does not appear, which I removed her due to Phasma's death in The Last Jedi (via The Rise of Skywalker: The Visual Dictionary) Chompy Ace 23:42, 5 February 2021 (UTC)
References
- The archive link for the reference after "preexisting audio from The Empire Strikes Back" isn't working. Try archiving it with this.
Done removed reference per WP:BI Chompy Ace 09:24, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
- Mark all references to the Los Angeles Times as "url-access=limited".
- Mark all references to Forbes as "url-access=limited".
- Mark all references to Vulture as "url-access=limited".
- The following should not be in italics:
- The following should be in italics using "|website=":
- MakingStarWars.net
- TheWrap
- Dork Side of the Force
Done for all Chompy Ace 00:38, 6 February 2021 (UTC)
- Some uses of StarWars.com are linked, in all lowercase, or in another form. Try to be consistent.
Done all uses use StarWars.com and are all linked Chompy Ace 01:58, 6 February 2021 (UTC)
- Link Dork Side of the Force to FanSided.
- Link ComingSoon.net.
- Link mySA
- CNN Money → CNN Business
- Link Motherboard (website) to Motherboard
- The second reference after "deceased Darth Vader" is dead.
- The second reference after "a tavern-dweller in Maz Kanata's castle" is dead.
- The second reference after "a lieutenant in the Resistance" is dead.
- The only reference after "Judah Friedlander" is dead.
- The reference after "Kevin Smith appear in minor roles" is dead.
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