Talk:Pneumonia/GA1

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Reviewer: Sahara4u (talk · contribs) 07:57, 11 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lede

  • century as "the captain of the men of death", the advent of antibiotic…. The quote should be referenced. You may link here
Ref are not really needed in the lead as long as it is supported by the body. Added the ref. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:34, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link chronically ill
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:34, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref# 5 doesn’t cite the text.
Fixed with better ref Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:34, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Bacteria

  • "Bacteria are the most common cause of community acquired pneumonia,…."→ community-acquired pneumonia….. and also link it
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Viruses

  • Commonly implicated agents include: rhinoviruses,[13] coronaviruses,[13] influenza virus,[22] respiratory syncytial virus (RSV),[22] adenovirus,[22] and parainfluenza.[22]---- Both ref should appear 1 time at the end of the sentence.
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • sub groups →subgroups
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 04:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Funji

  • "……. with weakened immune systems due to AIDS, immunosuppressive drugs, or other medical problems. The pathophysiology of pneumonia caused by fungi is similar to that of bacterial pneumonia." →This may need a reference.
DOne Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:06, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Parasites

  • "A variety of parasites can affect the lungs, including: Toxoplasma gondii, Strongyloides stercoralis, Ascariasis, and malaria." → For consistency use either causing agent name (Ascaris lumbricoides, Plasmodium malariae) or disease (Toxoplasmosis, Strongyloidiasis)
  • Same for "…..particularly Ascariasis and Strongyloides,……." Check it, there may be others…
DOne Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:09, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Pathophysiology

  • "Some viral infections such as measles and herpes simplex may reach the lungs via the blood." …….may be "Measles and Herpetic infections may reach the lungs via the blood."
Changed so that the terms agree. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:12, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Diagnosis

  • This should be in sequence (investigations, physical exam, imaging and other lab test)
Not sure what you mean? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:16, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "- including a complete blood count, serum electrolytes, C-reactive protein and possibly liver function tests -" ….. hyphens (-) should be mdashes (—) per WP:MDASH without space or spaced ndash
Fixed Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:16, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Still not done. It should be like this "and blood tests – including a complete blood count, serum electrolytes, C-reactive protein and possibly liver function tests – are recommended." Zia Khan 19:15, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Not sure what you mean. Like this? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:54, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
A little more effort required here. They should be "tests—including" and "tests—are" or "tests – including" and "tests – are". Zia Khan 20:22, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Never use hyphens of any sort myself. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 22:35, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Prevention

  • "preventative measures [47], as…." ref should come after the period.
Not sure. Was it fixed Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:17, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Management

  • Pneumonia in chronically ill patients? You may add a little
We already touch upon "hospital acquired pneumonia". Which aspects are you wanting further on? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 06:00, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Prognosis

  • "…..will stabalize in 3-6 days." → stabilize and ndash instead of hyphen
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "other lung problems recover may take more than 12 week." → recovery
  • "..... any underlying diseases, and age[70] – online calculator" .... make a note the online calculator
Not sure what you mean? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "….. are S. pneumoniae, H. influencae and K.pneumoniae……" Since you have not abbreviated them earlier use both Genus and Species.
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Do you really need calculators in the article? I think they should be at the end of the article. Zia Khan 19:03, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
The CURB is very easy to calculate. I think however that we should keep the other one. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 21:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Just remove those calculators because they are already linked to their main articles. Zia Khan 17:29, 24 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I guess. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 23:00, 24 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Epidemiology

  • "I n 2008 pneumonia occurred in approximately 156 million children…." Comma after 2008
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:20, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Images

  • All the images need alt text, except the lead image.
Done even for the lead image. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:42, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

See also

  • A link to Bronchopneumonia
Added a link into the text. See also sections not really recommended. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:54, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Notes and references

  • Notes --> References
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:19, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • References --> "Bibliography" making a new section
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:19, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Bibliography needs level 2 section. Zia Khan 19:29, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
We typcally keep references and bibliography together at WP:MED Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 21:12, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • You may add more categories.
Such as what? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:19, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Overall, the article is fine, well-referenced (except a couple of phrases) and covers the topic significantly. I’ll take a look again once the above concerns addressed. Zia Khan 07:57, 11 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks will take care of it when I get home in a couple of weeks. Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 23:33, 12 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Further Comments

  • “in 3—6 days.[71]” ---> 3–6
Done. But wasn't it like this before? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • “follow up is needed,” ---> follow-up
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • ….advent of antibiotic therapy and vaccines in the 20th century have seen ---> advents or has instead of have
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • …… light of their being no greater clinical benefit.[20][63]  there?
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • “An X-ray showing a white wedge in the right lung field of a chest X-ray.” ---> An X-ray: showing a white wedge in the right lung field of a chest.
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • ……A pleural effusion as seen on chest x-ray. The A arrow…….. --->A pleural effusion: as seen on chest x-ray. The arrow A indicates fluid layering in the right chest. The arrow B indicates the width of the right lung. The volume of the lung is reduced because of the collection of fluid around the lung.
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:47, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Age-standardized death from lower respiratory tract infections per 100,000 inhabitants in 2004.
Not sure what you wish changed? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
May be "Age-standardized death: lower respiratory tract infections per 100,000 inhabitants in 2004." Zia Khan 20:29, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 21:08, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • ….., which had approached 30%, dropped precipitously in the developed world. --->…, had approached 30%, dropped precipitously in the developed world.
? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
No need of "which". Zia Khan 20:29, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 20:55, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • “A diagram of the human body outlining the keysymptoms of pneumonia” ---> key-symptoms
Fixed Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • X ray ---> X-ray (in the alt text)
Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:51, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Some of the above concerns still are not addressed. I'll take another look before passing/failing this. Zia Khan 19:38, 22 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Final review

GA review (see Wikipedia:Good article criteria and WP:GACN)
  1. Well written.
    a (clear and concise prose which doesn't violate copyright laws, grammar and spelling are correct): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, and fiction:
  2. Factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (well-referenced): b (citations to reliable sources): c (Wikipedia:No original research):
  3. Broad in its coverage.
    a (covers major aspects): b (well-focused):
  4. Neutral .
    Fair representation, no bias:
  5. Stable.
    No edit wars nor disputed contents:
  6. Illustrated appropriately by images.
    a b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Result:No more issues, I guess. Good work, keep it up! Zia Khan 19:47, 25 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
    Pass/Fail:


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