Talk:Paddy Fox/GA1

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 08:57, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]


I will take this one, comments to follow in the next few days. Zawed (talk) 08:57, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies for the length of time taken to come back to this. Fox is an interesting chap, clearly very industrious and charitable. My comments are as follows:

Lead

  • Seems a little long given overall length of article.
Agreed and trimmed
  • British Army should be added into the infobox.
Added

Early life and career

  • "born at a racing stables": should that be plural given the use of "a"?
It's common in (British?) horseracing to say "a racing stables", I presume it's to emphasise that it's a bigger operation rather than just a shed with horses in it
  • link Belfast, Oxfordshire, British Army, General Officer Commanding, possibly Northumbrian District
All done

Recruiter

  • link Peterlee, County Durham
Done
  • A explanation of what a Long Service Recruiter is probably warranted.
Removed it, the only mention of the term online was in reports on Fox so probably a mistake by the journalist
  • The LG cite should go to page 7392, not 7391.
Oops, fixed
Linked only "bar" to avoid run-on with the medal link
  • "Fox's BEM citation commended him for setting a "splendid example of the Army to the public"": the quoted portion within this section should be cited. I note that the LG cite doesn't say this, I wonder if you are referring to the recommendation for the BEM?
Yes, you are right. The source used "citation statement" which is apparently part of the nomination form, I've amended to clarify.

Retirement

  • If there are articles for them, link St Cuthbert's Church and Lucy Portman
No articles
  • If known, suggest adding place of burial.
Alas, I couldn't find any record if he was buried or cremated

Images

  • These are all appropriately tagged.

That's it for me. Zawed (talk) 09:22, 25 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review Zawed (and no worries about the time taken, we're all busy). I think I've answered everything above.
This all looks good. I am passing this as a GA as I believe that it meets the relevant criteria. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 04:53, 29 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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