Talk:Operation Crossroads/GA1

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Reviewer: Tomobe03 (talk · contribs) 16:07, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. Everything appears fine
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. MOS compliance checks out
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. References provided
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). Criteria met
2c. it contains no original research. No OR
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. I can see no gaps needing filling-in at this level
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). Focus/breadth balance fine
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. No bias
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Article history indicates no edit wars
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. all clear
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. criteria met
7. Overall assessment. Passing

References/link issues:

MOS issues:

  • Per MOS:NBSP, a non-breaking space should be used between numbers and associated units of measurement, such as in The 10.6 pounds (4.8 kg) of plutonium.... Alternatively, a {{convert}} template may be used.--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:06, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • A non-breaking space is also needed between time value and "a.m." or "p.m."--Tomobe03 (talk) 10:46, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Why are "Able", "Baker", "Charlie" and "Crossroads" (in Crossroads follow-up) italicized? I found no relevant support for the text formatting in MOS:ITALIC.--Tomobe03 (talk) 17:15, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Able and Baker fall under "named exhibitions" I think. For consistency, I have de-Italicised "Operation Crossroads". Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:43, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • The "named exhibitions" are listed as an item under "Works of art and artifice", therefore that seems quite unlikely. Also "Operation Crossroads" is still sometimes italicized and in other instances not.--Tomobe03 (talk) 10:12, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Rank should be omitted before surnames of people already mentioned (the 1st instance should contain full rank and name) per WP:SURNAME. One such instance is Vice Admiral Blandy, referred to as either "Blandy" or "Admiral Blandy" after the 1st instance of the name.
  • In the "Nicknames" subsection, words Able, Baker, Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, How and Mike should be italicized (instead of placed in quotation marks) per WP:WORDSASWORDS. The same applies to the terms describing words as words in the "Sequence of blast events" and "Arkansas" subsections.--Tomobe03 (talk) 10:44, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

No DAB links found. I'll post further comments here shortly, once I thoroughly read the article.--Tomobe03 (talk) 19:22, 3 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • In On September 19, the Chief of the United States Army Air Forces (USAAF), General of the Army Henry H. Arnold, asked the Navy to save ten of the thirty-eight captured Japanese ships for use in the test proposed by McMahon., it is unclear what was the Navy asked to save the ships from? Would it be better to say something like "spare" or "set aside" instead?
  • In President Harry S. Truman appointed Blandy as head of Army/Navy Joint Task Force One (JTF-1), newly created to conduct the tests which he named Operation Crossroads., it is unclear (at least to me) who named the tests - Truman or Blandy?
  • In Colonel Paul W. Tibbets believed that it was a miscalculation by the crew., there appears to be something missing. I suppose the "it" refers to cause of the miss, so perhaps it would be more clear to say something like "Colonel Paul W. Tibbets believed that the miss was caused by a miscalculation of the crew.
  • In The Baker shot produced so many unusual phenomena that two months later a conference was held to standardize nomenclature and define new terms for use in descriptions and analysis., time clause should be moved to the end of the sentence or separated by commas.
  • In The underwater fireball took the form of a rapidly expanding hot "gas bubble" ..., if the fireball (I'm not quite sure personally) was a gas bubble, it should not be in quotation marks, and if it was not gas, then I suppose the word "gas" should be omitted as well.
  • Shouldn't the "Operation Crossroads" and the "Manhattan Project" always be preceded by a definite article?--Tomobe03 (talk) 10:58, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • The subsection title "Actual film badge readings" appears redundant. In my view it would be better suited as a title of the table following the subsection title.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:28, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wouldn't it be better to replace For the main expected causes of this increased mortality, leukemia and other cancers, the incidence was not significantly higher than normal. with "Incidence of the main expected causes of this increased mortality, leukemia and other cancers was not significantly higher than normal."?

Overall, I like the article - obviously a lot of work went into its writing. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask another editor to have a look at the prose, just to check if I missed anything of substance in that area.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:35, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Just checking prose as requested, but before I do, there is quite a bit of overlinking needing attention: "German cruiser Prinz Eugen", "shock wave", "mushroom cloud", "stratosphere" , "USS Arkansas (BB-33)", "stern", "museum ship", "USS Saratoga (CV-3)", "Manhattan Project", "Harry K. Daglian", "Louis Slotin", "fission products", "chlorine-35", "USS Haven", "USS New York", "plutonium", "roentgens", "Rongerik Atoll", "Kwajalein Atoll", "fallout", "bikini".
  • "to setten of the", not sure what that means. "to settle on"?
  • "worse, mostly due to"?
  • the Trinity burst was at 100 feet and had local fallout, but to be a real airburst without local fallout it needed to be at 100 feet?
  • there is a cite error, "Cite error: <ref> tag with name "FOOTNOTEShurcliff1947109.2C_155" defined in <references> is not used in prior text"

Otherwise, all good. Prose review completed. Peacemaker67 (send... over) 12:07, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

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