Talk:Henry Gardner

Henry Gardner has been listed as one of the History good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: November 14, 2013. (Reviewed version).

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Henry Gardner/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Curly Turkey (talk · contribs) 23:41, 10 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

Feel free to disagree with anything here. Some of it is merely my opinion. I'm not here to try to force a particular style on an article.

Lead

Gardner was the candidate of the Know Nothing movement,: people usually think of candidates as representing parties rather than movements. Can this be clarified?
- The Know Nothings were not a political party in the traditional sense, partly because of their secretive nature. 1854 was also a time when the old political order had been fractured (both the Whigs and Democrats were fractured over slavery). If this isn't sufficiently clear in the body, I can add some more. Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - My concern was the way it comes off to the average reader—they coud obviously click through to get the answer, but it leaves a one scratching one's head the way it's presented. I personally knew (in general) the history of the Know Nothings, but it still came off strange—you wouldn't expect to see, for example: "Gardner was the candidate of the Tea Party movement". Curly Turkey (gobble) 01:35, 12 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - I've rephrased it to avoid the use of "movement" in the lead. Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Gardner was a Boston dry goods merchant: if it can be avoided, links shouldn't be placed next to each other, as it's hard to tell that they're separate links. Maybe "dry goods merchant (in|from) Boston"? Changed Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Gardner opportunistically repudiated previously-held positions,: I think this is one of those rare cases when you'd need an inline cite in the lead. Either that, or drop "opportunistically" (doesn't seem NPOV). Cited Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
the introduction of plurality voting.: what did plurality voting replace? Is it something that could unobtrusively be stuck in here? Done Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
dividing on slavery.: maybe "divided over slavery"? You might want to link "slavery" to Slavery in the United States or something. Done Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
He was easily defeated: I assume "he" was Gardner, and not Frémont?
- Yes. I didn't want start yet another sentence with "Gardner". I've rephrased to clarify. Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
he died in relative obscurity in 1892.: I'm not sure this belongs in the lead—his death date is already given in the opening. Removed mention of year. Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Early Life

Henry J. Gardner was born: any reason we're given his middle name in the lead but only a middle initial in the body? Changed Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
as the state's treasurer 1774–1782: I've been told we're supposed to appreviate things like "1774–1782" to "1774–82", though I personally would rather not.
in private schools in the Boston area, and then attended Phillips Exeter Academy: is Phillips Exeter also "in the Boston area"?
- It's in Exeter, New Hampshire, which even now is not particularly close to Boston (it's more than an hour's drive). Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Entry into politics

and was viewed by contemporaries as politically opportunist.: Here you state that it "was viewed ... as ... opportunist", whereas in the lead you state flat-out it was "opportunist"
- I've added language pointing out that the historians addressing this also see him as opportunist. Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
He also switched from Websterite moderate position: "(a|the) Websterite ..." Fixed Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
to an abolitionist stance: this is the first mention of abolitionism; the link in "Slavery" should be moved here Fixed Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
was also angling for Know Nothing support: I don't think "angling" is encyclopaedic vocab Changed to "seeking" Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
one newspaper man: "newspaperman"? or "journalist"? Changed Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Governor of Massachusetts

Surprised there's no article on the election!
Gardner notably omitting popular substantive reform issues such as the ten-hour workday, and also avoiding: "omitted" and "avoided" Fixed Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Reforms

imprisonment for debt: link to Debtors' prison? Done Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
right to own property on their own: "on their own" is redundant
- I don't think it's entirely redundant; they may have been able to be listed as property owners in conjunction with their husbands. (I don't know the details, which would probably require a rather different set of sources.) Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
for their husbands' debts,: semicolon instead of comma Fixed Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Schools were desegregated: link to Desegregation? Done Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
failed 1853 constitutional convention: what "failed 1853 constitutional convention"?
- Why, this one, of course. :) I've added some words. Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
all became elective offices: redundant Rephrased Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Nativist issues

(including the deportation to Liverpool of a woman with an American-born infant without any means of support): why parentheses? Rephrased Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Gardner claimed that the state: check out WP:CLAIM Reworded (also one other place) Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
was reported to make lewd remarks: "reported to have made"? Fixed Magic♪piano 17:33, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Slavery

May 24, 1854 Anthony Burns was arrested: this appears to be under debate, but I think the rule is still that there should be a comman after the year Fixed Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
who also as served U.S. commissioner: "served as" Fixed Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
the legislature passed two Bills of Address calling for Judge Loring to be removed from his state office, in 1855 and 1856,: I'd move ", in 1855 and 1856," to after "Bills of Address" Fixed Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
(A third Bill of Address to remove Loring from office was later approved by Gardner's Republican successor, Nathaniel Prentice Banks.): why parentheses? Removed Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Later elections

from former Free Soilers: link Free Soil Party Done Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
before Gardner speech opening the 1857 session: "Gardner's speech"? Fixed Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Later life

Massachusetts Life Insurance Company: is this Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company?
- I don't know if it is or not. There were some fairly similarly-named entities in those days, and in reference to Gardner's association I've only seen it written that way. Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
No cause of death?
- Not that I've been able to find. Like a lot of non-Whig politicians of the era, he was not the subject of memorials by Whig-dominated (and later Republican) organs like the Massachusetts Historical Society and the New England Historical and Genealogical Society. Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Images are all Public Domain and properly tagged
Probably not required for GA, but the images would best have alt text.
File:Nathaniel Prentice Banks - Brady-Handy.jpg: images opening a section should be on the right, as per WP:IMAGELOCATION]] Moved Magic♪piano 21:16, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
File:EWashburn.jpg: why a photo of Washburn when he's not mentioned in the body of the article? The caption's not very helpful, either. Added more stuff on Washburn. Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

References

I can't access most of the references. Rand checks out.
Ref 3: I don't see in Wright where Gardner denies graduating from Bowdoin
- Wright quotes Gardner making a speech. It's kind of hard to parse, but the words you need to find are "I, not being one" -- the "one" refers back to Bowdoin alumni. Magic♪piano 21:27, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Hmm ... that seems to veer awfully close to WP:OR territory ... Curly Turkey (gobble) 01:38, 12 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - It's not OR to repeat Gardner's claim, and the fact that it's hard to parse doesn't make it "research" to do that work. Magic♪piano 17:35, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      - It would be OR to interpret the claim—how do we know he meant it? Was he playing it for laughs, for example? Did he intend it as a crack at his fellow alumni whom he was in the midst of having some (short-lived?) falling out with? I think this one stray comment, without sufficient context, does not give us enough evidence that "he denied it". Why not shorten "He then attended Bowdoin College; some brief biographies claim that he graduated, but he denied it." to "He then attended Bowdoin College", thus avoiding the issue entirely? Curly Turkey (gobble) 23:15, 13 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

———Curly Turkey (gobble) 01:35, 11 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Your point is taken; I have modified accordingly. Magic♪piano 21:28, 14 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Passed. I'm satisfied that what we have here is another Good Article. Curly Turkey (gobble) 22:03, 14 November 2013 (UTC)[reply]