Talk:Gan Eng Seng/GA1

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GAN on hold

  • Please move free images to Commons
Sorry, I'm not familiar with the necessary procedures for Commons but would let the responsible admins or bots to evaluate & transfer my pix accordingly as they did so previously. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Some of his most recognised contributions known to date" - known to date isn't needed since he's dead, thus not likely to make any more
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Fujian Province in China" --> "Fujian, China"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "education which he learnt" - needs an "in" before the "which"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He came to Singapore after his father's death when he was sixteen" - sounds like his father was 16 at time of death...use some commas and stuff to clarify
 Done. Text rephrased. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Gan was diligent and capable, and his ability won him the recognition and keen interest of Thomas Scott" - is this sourced by ref 2?
Yes, it refers from the start of the para until the mentioned quote above. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Singapore as a port owes much to his genius and foresight" - same thing. Just POV issues otherwise
 Done. Amended text for NPOV. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "which help Gan to make most of his fortunes" - change "help" to past tense. Not sure what "fortunes" refers to...
 Done. Text rephrased. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "was considered auspicious then" - put "then" before "considered"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "His first son he adopted": change to "The first son he adopted" or "His first adopted son"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is it possible in the wives table to say which wife produced which child, etc.?
 Done. Tables revised for clarity. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "it was renamed as" - change "as" to "to"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Under their good management" - a bit too much POV for my liking...
 Done. Amended text for NPOV. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "As of 2007, it's currently" - rmv "currently" (redundant) and change it's to it is
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "it has moved eight times, the most ever known in Singapore schools due to expansion needs during its 122-year history" - kinda choppy, not sure what it's trying to say here. It moved 8 times in 122 years, and that's a record?
Yes, it's a record as per S'pore public schools to date as mentioned in The Straits Times previously. Text rephrased. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "where his forefathers were born" - but commas around both sides of this
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "An instance of this kind" --> "For instance" (perhaps?)
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Gan strongly backed and financed it" - rmv "it"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "till today, it still continues" - change "it" to "and", rmv "still"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "According to the annual report of Tan Tock Seng Hospital for 1892 made mentioned " -

rmv "according to"

 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "to this very day" - very isn't needed
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1895, Gan was one of the co-founders in setting up" - replace "in setting up" with "of" so it reads better
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "is known to play" --> "plays"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "worth an estimated of S$550,000." - rmv "of"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Due to redevelopment of the area later," - rmv "later", or put it after "to"
 Done -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

And that's the lot. Leave a note on my talk page when this is done please. Cheers, dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 10:08, 11 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your time & the suggested copyedits as per the context of native speaker of English. Please review the revision made & feel free to make any amendments where necessary. -- Aldwinteo (talk) 05:28, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
All looks good here - no unresolved issues. I might move the images to Commons myself if I get the chance. dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 07:25, 14 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

This GAN has passed, and this is now a good article! If you found this review helpful, please consider helping out a fellow editor by reviewing another good article nomination. Help and advice on how to do so is available at Wikipedia:Reviewing good articles, and you can ask for the help of a GAN mentor, if you wish.

Cheers, dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 07:25, 14 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank u for passing this article to GA class mate. As for your friendly suggestion of me helping out as a GA reviewer, I'm sorry that I've to turn down your request as I'm more passionate in researching & writing history/heritage articles for Wikipedia instead. Moreover, I hate judging & be involved in any lengthy discussions or heated disputes during such reviews if opinion differs (Look at GAR or FAN to get what I mean). Fyi, u are the 3rd person to bring up on this subject to date. Best rgds -- Aldwinteo (talk) 09:49, 14 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]
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