Talk:Chair Model/GA1

GA Review

Back for more, eh? Okay, here we go:

"releationship"
I don't think it's a good idea to start a sentence with "Then". Perhaps "Then "Parking" was going to be the title," → "Later, "Parking" was considered for the title," – this sounds better. This sentence doesn't read nearly as well as the rest of the article.
"Jennifer Celotta and Paul Lieberstein were actually the ones" – why "actually"? Is this in comparison to who we thought were the ones?

Gary King (talk) 16:12, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 16:18, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The quotes need to be paid attention to.

"a sweet and genuine moment."" → "a sweet and genuine moment"."
""a hysterical turn and highlights just how deluded Michael – and Dwight – can be."" → ""a hysterical turn and highlights just how deluded Michael – and Dwight – can be"."

Gary King (talk) 16:37, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Mr.crabby ''''' (Talk) 16:42, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

"External links" goes after "References". I did this, so I will pass now. Gary King (talk) 16:55, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]