Talk:Marais des Cygnes massacre/GA1

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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 23:34, 1 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I will do a little copy editing. Please flag up anything you are unhappy with.

  • "as part of a period of political instability" Maybe "as part of" → 'during'?
    • Done
  • "Free-Staters" needs disambiguating.
    • Oops. Fixed
  • Perhaps introduce Brown? 'The abolitionist ...'?
    • Done
  • "resulted in a pro-slavery majority in Kansas leadership" This isn't grammatical. And who or what constituted the "leadership"?
    • Is "resulted in a pro-slavery majority in the Kansas territorial government," any better?
  • "Free Staters": why the uppercase initial letters?
    • Both Free Staters and free staters are used, as well as Border Ruffians and border ruffians. Gonna stick with lowercase for all for consistency
  • "the Sack of Lawrence was committed by" Consider "committed" → 'carried out'.
    • Done
  • "several buildings were burned". Burned, or burned down?
    • Burned down, clarified
  • "a Veterans of Foreign Wars post donated the site" I assume that this means something to Americans. But it looks like a typo to me.
    • Yeah, the VFW is a big veterans organization in parts of America. My state considers the game of bingo to be gambling and tightly regulates it, but the VFW is given a special exemption to do bingo above the legal limits. Such is life in the Bible Belt. I attend a Baptist College that forbids on-campus dancing
I assume that a "post" in this context means something like 'branch'.
I really can't think of anything polite to say in response, but you have my sympathies. How long is your sentence?
A "post" is what the VFW calls each branch. I can change the wording if you'd like, Gog the Mild, but "post" is the most accurate word to use in this context. Hog Farm Bacon 21:35, 3 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Gog the Mild (talk) 17:40, 2 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed
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