Talk:Liechtenstein at the 1936 Summer Olympics

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Liechtenstein at the 1936 Summer Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Arconning (talk · contribs) 05:16, 6 June 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 23:33, 10 June 2024 (UTC)

Lead and infobox

• Summer Olympic Games is dupelinked in the first sentence, which is also a little repetitive: "...at the Summer Olympic Games at the 1936 Summer Olympics" - just remove "at the Summer Olympic Games"
  •  Done
• second sentence switches from past to present tense, maybe "as the Liechtenstein Olympic Committee had been founded the year prior" or something like that?
  •  Done
• last sentence is missing a word or needs a semicolon
  •  Done
• Infobox says "Nazi Germany" while lead says "Germany"
  •  Done

Background

• "It is the nation's second appearance" → switch to past tense
  •  Done
• "sending four athletes to the competition" → sticks out a bit, recommend reword or separate sentence
  •  Done
• "The Liechtenstein delegation composed of nine people" → "composed of nine people" doesn't make sense, either needs an extra word or a different word than "composed"
  •  Done
• "who served as the president of the committee for the Games" → a couple things: (1) I am not a fan of "served as" since it is almost always simpler to just say "was" (see WP:SERVEDAS for a little more info on that) and (2) what committee?
  •  Done
• "Schreiber was the last athlete for Liechtenstein to compete at the Games" → this doesn't make sense to me. Are you saying he was the last guy from Liechtenstein to compete at these Olympics (if so, this seems like an irrelevant detail that doesn't say much about him at all, since it's likely just an indication that his event was scheduled last) or the last one ever (which is not true, of course)?
  •  Done
• Last sentence of "Delegation" needs to be rewritten - also change "it's" to "its" since "after it is second participation" is ungrammatical
  •  Done
• "it was noticed" → to what does "it" refer? Who noticed this?
  •  Done

Athletics

• First sentence is repetitive ("Before the Games, Liechtenstein held trials for athletics events before their debut in the Summer Olympics"
  •  Done
• "namely" sounds like you're picking them out of a larger list, this word is unnecessary
  •  Done
• How large were the heats? I know the tracks are only eight(?) lanes now, but were they larger/smaller then? This helps to put a sixth-place finish in context
  •  Done Put "they both placed last", therefore one can know there were only six lanes/six racers per heat. Also put for the 200 metres section.
• Starting in the third paragraph, the year is not necessary since you've given it already and the reader will know by now that we're talking about the '36 Games
  •  Done

Cycling

• "who would compete" → "who competed"
  •  Done
• "Schreiber competed in his event" → "The event took place"
  •  Done
• "on 10 August 1936, where the race spanned" → "where" seems an odd word to use here, and I'd also recommend a sentence break after "1936"
  •  Done
• Since his time is unknown, I'd avoid using "eventually" since it could give a reader the impression that it took him a while to finish
  •  Done
• "between 39–94" → recommend making these ordinals and replacing the dash with "and"
  •  Done
• "Liechtenstein entered three athletes into Olympic competition" → perhaps "Olympic shooting competition" or "Liechtenstein entered three shooters"?
  •  Done
• "who would all compete" → "who all competed"
  •  Done
• "All three competed in their event on 8 August 1936" → "The event was held on 8 August..." or "The event took place..."
  •  Done
• Recommend mentioning in prose that Hilty and Senti finished tied since that's in the table but not referenced there
  •  Done

That's all on first look, pinging co-nom TheBritinator (talk · contribs) as well. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 23:33, 10 June 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS: TheBritinator will handle the rest of the review. Arconning (talk) 08:27, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS: Handled the rest of the review. Let me know if anything else needs to be done. TheBritinator (talk) 17:08, 11 June 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS: Just a follow up on the review since we're done addressing the issues :) Arconning (talk) 06:15, 13 June 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS Just another follow up lol Arconning (talk) 06:46, 19 June 2024 (UTC)