Talk:Edward N. Hall/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 09:50, 12 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a gander at this one. Comments to follow in next few days. Zawed (talk) 09:50, 12 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: has this been forgotten? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:25, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Whoops, things are getting away from me a bit...anyhoo, comments as follows:

Lead

Early life

Missile Development Work

  • with his wife and son David in 1946,: when I first read this, I was wondering what happened to the other two kids mentioned in the previous section but then realised they must not have had them yet. Perhaps to avoid confusion maybe say "with his family in 1946"
    checkY Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:34, 20 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hall, now a lieutenant colonel, joined the Western Development Division.: the abbreviation for WDD has already been introduced so should be used here.
    checkY Done. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:34, 20 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • the project director of the Thor project in 1957,: the first usage of project here is probably redundant.
    checkY Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:34, 20 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Later life

Other stuff

  • No dupe links
  • Image tags OK

I fixed quite a few typos as I went along, but otherwise that's it for me. Zawed (talk) 09:37, 20 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: All points addressed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 19:12, 21 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]