Talk:Bomba Patch/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 18:25, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

Comments to follow soon. ♦ jaguar 18:25, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

• "Eventually, the mod became nationally known" - perhaps this reads better as The mod became popular nationwide.
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• " He stopped working on Bomba Patch" - Jefferson
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "and Jefferson created social media for it" - reads sloppy, he created social media accounts?
  • Yes; fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "Several publications recognize Bomba Patch's impact and legacy in Brazil." - can this be expanded? What did people enjoy about the mods?
  • It's in the impact and legacy section. The sources praised the game for many different aspects, so I'm not sure how to summarize it without it being too long. Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)

  Added Skyshifter ^talk 21:12, 30 October 2023 (UTC)

• "for PlayStation," - missing 'the'
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "using mod "Brazucas"" - again, missing 'the'
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "He initially changed the foreign teams for Brazilian ones" - replaced the foreign teams with Brazilian ones
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "However, the uniform and shield were still the same" - should this not be 'emblem'? And I'd rephrase to However, the team's uniforms and emblems were left unaltered
  • Fixed and rephrased Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "He then edited in clubs from the Campeonato Brasileiro Série A and Série B." - overuse of 'he', replace with his surname
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "Jefferson reports that even in the second championship, " - wrong tense
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "Jefferson also allowed participants in the championship to take the mod home" - you mean he gave away the mod's source code?
  • In the PS2 era this mod was usually sold as physical discs. The source also implies that (translated: One of these participants took a copy of Bomba Patch to a store in the city and exchanged it for another game). Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• " One of them, however, took a copy of the mod to a store in the city, one of whose shopkeepers was in business with a large street market in another city" - this reads poorly and needs to be rephrased
  • I'm really bad with prose, but I tried to make it better. Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
• "While its main platform is still PlayStation 2" - missing 'the'
  • Fixed Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)

There are a few prose issues, but I'll leave this on hold and will review it again once all of the above have been clarified. ♦ jaguar 19:45, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

@Jaguar: thank you for reviewing the article! I've responded to everything so far. Indeed I am not very good with prose, but hopefully everything can be sorted out by the end of the review. I can also help clarify some Portuguese sources if needed. Skyshifter ^talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)

Thank you, Skyshifter. I made a couple of copyedits but this looks good to go now. Well done! ♦ jaguar 23:02, 30 October 2023 (UTC)