Talk:Bermuda at the 1994 Winter Olympics/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 22:49, 30 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Hi Courcelles! I am going to review this article as well. I will complete a quick c/e of the article first. Feel free to revert any of the changes, as I will only make what I feel are non-controversial improvements. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 22:49, 30 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Copyedit

Here is my copyedit. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:01, 30 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Prose & MOS
  • "The only Bermudian athlete was again luge racer Simon Payne" - why "again"? In the midst of the lead, this doesn't make sense.
  • "Bermuda first participated in Olympic competition at the 1936 Berlin Summer Games, made their Winter Olympic Games debut in 1992 at the Albertville Games, and have appeared in every Olympics since their respective debuts bar one, the boycotted 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow." - I would recommend splitting into two sentences: "...1936 Berlin Summer Games. They made their Winter Olympic Games..."
  • I would only link the athlete's name in the lead and the table, if at all.
  • "Simon Payne was the only athlete Bermuda sent to Lillehammer, just as the luge racer had been at Albertville two years prior" - maybe reword to something like "...Lillehammer, just as he had been the only athlete sent to Albertville two years prior."
  • Who is John Hoskins and why was he the flag bearer? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 23:01, 30 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]
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Overall