- This review is transcluded from Talk:Kivu Ebola epidemic/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 23:33, 28 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Okay - will be taking a look at this one. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 23:33, 28 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
First off, you wanna make the lead more punchy and structured.
I'd restructure the first few sentences to something like, "The Kivu Ebola epidemic was an outbreak of Ebola Virus disease that ravaged eastern DRC from 2018 to 2020. The second largest recorded outbreak, it resulted in a deathtoll of 3313." -then go into chronology - I wouldn't put in about surpassing 1000 in the lead. I am happy to have a go at this if you want to see how and are happy with it. Done[1][2]
Since January 2015, the affected province and general area have been experiencing a military conflict, which hindered treatment and prevention efforts - ungainly, how about something like, "A military conflict in the region that had begun in January 2015 hindered treatment and prevention efforts" Done[3]
In May 2019, the WHO reported that since January of that year there had been 42 attacks on health facilities and 85 health workers had been wounded or killed - try, "In May 2019, the WHO reported that 85 health workers had been wounded or killed in 42 attacks on health facilities since January (of that year)". Done[4]
- ok seems very sound, will therefore restructure lead (and any other areas of text) as indicated--Ozzie10aaaa (talk) 00:45, 2 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The epidemiology section looks odd with a big table at the top, however I concede it is hard to see where it would otherwise go. I think a summary paragraph which states how many cases and deaths over what time period is important to put at the top actually. Done (please see article as several edits were needed for this)
- this is reasonable, and will therefore implement, this as well as your above suggestions--Ozzie10aaaa (talk) 02:24, 2 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The index case is believed to have been the death and unsafe burial of a 65-year-old woman on 25 July in the town of Mangina; soon afterwards seven members of her immediate family died - need to reword the latter part as wording is same as source article. Done[5]
Also in the Democratic Republic of the Congo subsection, para 3 should be moved up and appended onto para 1, to keep material in chronological order. Done[6]
Para 4 seems out of place. Material referring to tables/graphs should be next to same. Other material on total numbers can go to summary para at top or in choronoloical order further down the page Done[7][8]
In the Becoming the 2nd biggest EVD outbreak subsection, the stubby para 2 can go straight onto para 1. Done[9]
- have written some of the 'summary paragraph' off wiki last night(the first suggestion raised above) and will begin to replace shortly...along with the points that follow, thank you--Ozzie10aaaa (talk) 12:55, 2 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Am pondering whether the Virology section would be better named Pathogen ...as that is the crux of what the section is covering. And not about the science of studying viruses...? Done[10]
- This is the same strain that was involved in the early 2018 outbreak in western DRC. - ...but a different genetic coding..? I presume the outbreaks were genetically not linked...? Material discussing this should be added. Done[11] (please see edit summary for clarification, thank you)..I also added additional ref[12]
- Both Ebola and Marburg virus are part of the Filoviridae family. - is this statement too general for this article?
- Per "Filoviridae | Viral Hemorrhagic Fevers (VHFs) | CDC". www.cdc.gov. 13 February 2019. Retrieved 3 March 2021....I would say no, however should you wish some text to expand upon this topic for our readers, I would of course agree--Ozzie10aaaa (talk) 01:29, 3 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- ...The filovirus genome contains seven genes, - the term "filovirus" is used for the first time here but not explained or linked. Done[13] and [14]
The graph that follows is an indication of the genetic epidemiology of the virus until October 2019, when the outbreak decline began. - why the italicised bit? Done[15]
ongoing military attacks in the region which created a perfect storm for the virus - "perfect storm" doesn't need to be in italics....? Done[16]
On 26 October, the WHO indicated that half of confirmed cases were not showing any fever symptom - should that be "symptoms"? Done[17]
- I would move the Genetic epidemiology section to the bottom of the pathogen section as it is discussing the pathogen and relationship to the other outbreak (natural continuation). I'd remove the sentence on genetic epidemiology as redundant. Done[18] (I presume you mean the chart, as the Genetic epidemiology subsection is/was already at the bottom of the Pathogen section)
- Transmission
Ebola virus is found in a variety of bodily fluids, such as breast milk, saliva, stool, blood, and semen. Due to this, the Ebola virus is an extremely infectious and contagious disease as a result of easy contact with any of these bodily fluids - very wordy, why not, "Ebola virus is found in a variety of bodily fluids, such as breast milk, saliva, stool, blood, and semen, rendering it highly contagious due to ease of contact." Done[19]
Both Ebola and Marburg virus are part of the Filoviridae family. Filoviruses are part of a virus family which cause severe hemorrhagic fever named Filoviridae - these sentences should be combined somehow or one removed as they overlap alot. Also family names are not italicized Done[20] and [21]
The filovirus genome contains seven genes, including VP40. - I don't understand why this is relevant on this page. Done (have trimmed)[22]
Why is "sequence" italicised in the captionbox of the table in the Genetic epidemiology section? Done[23]
....achieved 60% efficacy for sanitary burial.... - "efficacy" is when something works in a trial, "effectiveness" is when it works in the field/in Real Life - which meaning is this meant here?
- The source indicates "efficacy" per [24]
All close contacts should be monitored for 21 days following their last known exposure to the case and be isolated if they become ill. - needs to be rephrased so doesn't sound like a manual Done[25] (has been rephrased)
Disease surveillance in North Kivu and Ituri was complicated by many factors, but there were two major obstacles to effective surveillance: 1) the outbreaks of sporadic violence against the response and affected communities and 2) suspicion of the response in parts of some affected communities. - wordy and makes one wonder what other factors there were. Make simpler, like "In North Kivu and Ituri, outbreaks of sporadic violence and suspicion of the response in parts of some affected communities impacted heavily on disease surveillance." Done[26]
In August 2018, the WHO evaluated [the benefits and risks of] several drugs used to treat EVD... - segment in brackets is unnecessary and can be removed Done[27]
The See Also section is redundant and should be removed - all these items are linked and discussed through the article Done[28]
The History section is a problem. Para 2 should be incorporated into the epidemiology section in chronological order as that is where it belongs. Done[29]
The Projected cases should be also incorporated into the epidemiology section in chronological order as that is where it belongs. Done[30]
On 22 January, the total case count began to approach 1,000 cases - why not just, "On 22 January, the total case count approached 1,000 cases" Done[31]
The four graphs in a row in the Becoming the 2nd biggest EVD outbreak are uncited. Also their dates should be formatted in the way that other dates in the article are formatted Done[32] and Done[33] (please indicate should further formatting be needed, thank you)
Earwigs copyvio is clear
1. Well written?:
- Prose quality:
- Manual of Style compliance:
2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
- References to sources: - spotchecking looked okay
- Citations to reliable sources, where required: -
pending last issue above
- No original research:
3. Broad in coverage?:
- Major aspects:
- Focused:
4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:
- Fair representation without bias:
5. Reasonably stable?
- No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):
6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:
- Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
- Pass or Fail: - pending last quibble(s) Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 12:13, 9 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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